Viper: Not that I care, but I hope Jax wins. Look--a bulldog by Jax!
Bob: Thomas is down! Now Jax presses Thomas and slams him down--HARD.
Viper: Hahaha!!!
Jessie: Now Jax drops a leg across Thomas, but Jax picks Thomas up.
Bob: BIG mistake.
Viper: Why?
Bob: That's why! Thomas nails Jax with a leg sweep, and a belly to belly.
Lisa: But Gregg doesn't follow up with a pin--he's going up to the top!
Jessie: Thomas leaps...right into the arms of Jax!
Bob: Jax is applying a bear hug! I think this one's over!
{time elapses}
Viper: Jax has had Thomas in the bear hug for a very long time. Why dosn't he just give up?
Lisa: Because the All American Kid never gives up!
Bob: Right! Just like my '84 Bucs. We may have been down, but we were NEVER out.
Lisa: Oh, Bob! I could just listen to your football stories forever!
Bob: Y-you could?!?
Jessie: Come on, Lisa, don't get him started. Jax really cinching in that bear hug. It doesn't look good for Thomas.
Viper: Ring the bell! That kid is dead!
Bob: Shut up Viper, he's not dead! I'd rather have Chad around than a worthless loser like you!
Jessie: That's the first time I've ever heard you express a preference for Chad! Thomas sticks a thumb in Jax's eye and he releases the hold.
Lisa: Gregg must be desperate, because he never cheats.
Viper: And that's why he never wins.
Jessie: Thomas dropkicks Jax--he falls outside!
Bob: Jax looks disoriented, he's now jawing with some of the fans at ringside.
Jessie: Thomas is outside. Donna Quinn is following him!
Viper: Jax pushes Thomas into the ref, I love it!
Lisa: Both of them are out!
Bob: Jax is back to arguing with the fans! Now he's yelling at the Fallen Angels.
Viper: Hey, he can't do that! The Angels are fans for this match. But they'll still beat the crap out of him.
Jessie: Viper, remember--this is a family show.
Viper: Not according to the American Decency Association!
Bob: Look--he just hit Julia and Michael both!
Viper: That's it, I'm out of here!
Lisa: Where is he going?
Bob: Good riddance!
Jessie: Julia is tending to Michael--he's busted wide open. The ref and Thomas are still out, and--oh my! Viper is coming down to ring with that guy that beat up Thomas!
Bob: Is he coming down to finish the job?
Jessie: NO, he nails Jax! He just tiger bombed this huge Jax on the concrete. Jax is out cold. Now Viper holds Jax--and Julia delivers a superkick right to the jaw! Now the thug rolls Jax into the ring!
Lisa: I guess that's what happens when you touch the Angels!
Bob: Thomas is up, and so is the ref.
Jessie: Thomas picks up the unconscious Jax and delivers a bridge suplex!
Bob: 1..2..3! It's over!!!
Michael Duffer: THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH AT 14:30, THE ALL AMERICAN KID, GREGG THOMAS!!!
Bob: Lets go back to Chad in the locker room with the Angels.
Chad: Guys, I'm back here and soon I'll be interviewing--here they are. Michael, Julia, what the hell is going on here?
Michael: We don't have to explain ourselves.
Viper: Romero, the Angels go whereever they want, and they wanted to watch a match.
Chad: But did you have to get involved?
Jessie: That big idiot touched us first so we eliminated him.
Chad: But who is this man?
Viper: This is Antoine, he's the Angel's bodyguard.
Michael: Don't try to get an interview, he doesn't talk.
Chad: But why do you need him?
Julia: Well mortal, eventually we will take over this entire federation, and Antoine is just what we need to protect ourselves.
Michael: Maybe now the tag team champs will give us the title shot they know we deserve.
Chad: But what about Jax?
Viper: Jax, we have no problem with you, nore will we ever wrestle you, but you were just the point we had to prove. This interview is over.
Chad: That's all I'm gonna get from here. Back to you, Jess.
Jessie: Thanks, Chad! Bob has left to handle more interviewing, so I'm happy to announce a guest comentator: none other than the ICWF intercontinental champion, Arlechino! Great to have you here!
Arlechino: Glad to be here, Jessie. And it looks like we've got one hell of a match coming up. "The Sandman" Sid McKnight taking on Chase "Cranker" Stern after Stern challenged the big man during an interview.
Lisa: And, if Chase wants to prove technique beats power, he couldn't have picked a better opponent. The Sandman's big enough to powerlift a station wagon!
Lisa: Sounds like you're nervous about maybe facing the Sandman in the ring someday.
Arlechino: Actually, I was just wondering if he'd help me change the oil in my car.
(The wrestlers make their way to the ring. The crowd lets out a large boo for the bad guys, though the ones within arm's reach seem strangly silent.... Chase makes his way to ringside next, looking calm and poised for the match ahead.)
Arlechino: And this match is going to be the ultimate example of speed and technique vs power and size for a long time to come.
Jessie: True, but don't count Chase out because of his size; he's got alot of power backing him up as well.
Lisa: And the bell rings, and Chase and Sid lock up near the ropes. Sid overpowers the smaller man and sirish whips him to the ropes...powerslam by Sid! 1...2...No! Shoulder up, and so is Sid. He's telling the ref something, looks like he might be complainng about the count...and Chase rolls up the big man! 1...2...kickout with authority!
Jessie: Sid gets to his feet, and Chase is there to meet him, punch to the gut by Stern! Now...WOW! A tiger driver on the big man! 1...2...shoulder up! Sid tries to roll over and get to his feet, and ANOTHER tiger driver from Stern! 1...2...kickout! I didn't think Chase would be able to do that move on someone the size of McKnight.
Arlechino: Hey, it's not the size of the dog in the fight... besides, Stern knows how to use an opponent's own strength against them.
Jessie: Fast pacing in the first few seconds of this bout and now we see Stern trying to pin Sid again. 1...2...shoulder up! Cranker's giving it all he's got in these first few minutes of the match.
Arlechino: Good idea, since he'd facing a man with both power and stamina. Stern to the ropes, charging the stunned McKnight...and a powerslam by the Sandman! And that put a sudden stop to Chase's soul train!
Lisa: But, the big man is hurting too! The ref there to count them both. It looks like Sid's getting up...and an elbowdrop on Cranker. Now McKnight pulls him to his feet. Off the ropes...VADER ATTACK! Stern's gotta be ripe after that one. The Sandman's pulling Chase to his feet now, stunning him with a well-placed forearm. Now, a whip to the buckle, and a reverse by Chase! He comes charging in...only to meet the boot of Sid McKnight!
Arlechino: And that's gonna make it hard for Chase to come back, folks. Sid now grabbing Stern in an armbar...and the Cranker with a boot of his own! Sid's doubled over...but he still manages to plant a kick in Stern's face! Sid with a cover, 1...2...kickout by the smaller man! Sid picks him up, a whip to the ropes...bodypress on Stern!! 1...2...KICKOUT!
Jessie: That was close.
Lisa: Sure was. These two are going heavey in only the first few minutes. How long can these guys last?
Arlechino: Well, though nowhere nearly as fit as I am, these two can hold there own in the ring a pretty long time. I have a feeling this amtch is going to get more interesting as time goes on.
(These two combatants fight for about five minutes, slowly wearing each other down.)
Jessie: And a whip to the ropes by Sid McKnight, and Chase holds on to the rope and prevents himself from running back. The ref going over to Chase and...it looks like the Bad Boy just handed the Sandman something!
Lisa: They look like brass knuckles from here. The Sandman moves in, and punches Stern in the arm! Now a few more blows...and the ref doesn't see the knuckles!
Jessie: Proabably because he's trying to get Bad Boy of the apron! Now the ref turns around, but not in time to see the Sandman throw the knuckles to the floor.
Arlechino: And now the Sandman stunning Chase with a series of kneelifts. Now a whip to the ropes...and an armbar submission lock! And, it's right on that arm the Sandman nailed with the knuckles! This is shameful!
Lisa: Maybe, but it looks like he's gotten away with it! (Bell Rings)
Michael Duffer: The winner of this match, by submission, Sid "The Sandman" McKnight!
Jessie: After taking the brass knuckles to Chase's arm, it's no wonder he submitted. And, the Sandman adding extra insult by using Chase's own finisher to win the match! Bob's got the interview as the Sandman exits the ring!
Bob: Sid, Mark Bagwell--what was that all about in there?
Mark Bagwell: Shut up, Brodsky! It was about winning! Brass knucks, chairs, tables, you name it--we're gonna do what it takes to win! Tell 'em, big man!
Sandman: You said it, bruthah! Stern, my hat's off to ya--you're a tough little *bleep!* But You stepped in there with the wrong man, and now you're a victim! Anybody who wants to step in there with the Sandman needs to rewind their VCRs and watch that match again! (The pair storm off.)
Jessie: And Chad has Chase Stern in the back! Chad, what's the story?
Chad: Jess, I'm back here with Chase Stern, and--
Chase: (Snatches the mic and moves toward the camera, allowing