Masked Marauder defends the ICWF World Championship against ICWF TV Champion Gretchen Gwynne; plus a 50 person battle royal.
(Jessie, Bob, Chad, and Lisa stand composed before a wildly cheering crowd; Jessie and Lisa are wearing close-fitting, low-cut evening dresses, while Bob and Chad are in tailored tuxedos.)
Jessie: Good evening, everybody, and welcome to the 1997 edition of Season's Beatings, broadcast LIVE from right here in the sold-out Launching Pad, home of your season four IIFL champions, the Richter City Rockets! (Crowd noise rises to a deafening level at the mention of the popular team, then subsides.) I'm Jessie James, and with me are my co-hosts, "Luscious" Lisa Madison, Bob Brodsky, and Chad "Romeo" Romero! Tonight, the ICWF returns to pay-per-view programming with a bang, as we put several top belts on the line!
Bob: That's right, Jess! For starters, the vacant US tag-team belts are up for grabs, as Born to be Wild squares off against the mighty Dogs of War!
Lisa: Absolutely, Bob! Also, you'll see the current Intercontinental champion, Arlechino, takes on the AWESOME US beltholder, Spanish Rose!
Chad: Forget all that! My Mankillers defend their World tag championships against those wanna-bes, the Southern Sirens!
Jessie: And of course, the Masked Marauder will defend the ICWF WORLD'S title against the psychotic starlet of the Syndicate, "Gorgeous" Gretchen Gwynne! That match has direct bearing on our main event, right, Lisa?
Lisa: It certainly will! For as you all know, our showcase event is the battle royal, and the stakes vary based on that match. If the Marauder retains the belt, then the winner of the battle royal will face him for the title. If he should lose, thus vacating the TV belt, then the winner will claim THAT as the prize!
Jessie: Newcomers and veterans alike will have the chance to make a huge difference right off the bat. Many of the participants had a few choice words to offer about the battle royal. Let's go to their comments!
(The scene: A typical dojo littered with bent iron rods, broken wood, sheet metal with the clear impression of hands and feet coming from one side. A well-muscled man in ninja-style tights emblazoned with a red dragon turns toward the camera, and begins to speak.)
DragonLord: The Master wishes me to tell you that he has noticed a great disturbance in the over spirit. The wrestlers here cause a disturbance that is displeasing. I am to meet him whereever it is ordained by the high priest Shoemaker to reset his spirit to join the one true path, the Path of the Dragon. I will give him the peace he needs that he may reflect and repair his broken life. I must go now.
(As if by magic, the enigmatic DragonLord pulls a ninja mask up over his face and seems to disappear into the background. The scene fades....)
FADE IN:
Medusa stands alone in front of the Prophets of Rage's purple and black backdrop. She grits her teeth and sneers at the camera.]
Medusa: I don't even know why they want me to talk about nonsense like this. Battle royals. I mean please. I guess they just want me on TV. I understand that entirely. The thing I don't understand is this. Who the hell do they think is going to stop the Rages from winning? Really? Who do they possibly think can do it? It's not the Kingpin. He can't handle my clan. And his little leatherclad nymphette, ViXXXen better watch out because Godiva's got something for her in the taste department. She's gonna slap the taste right out of your mouth, honey. If I don't do it first. On to more important matters, though. The Rages are making their debut here and it's in a battle royale? What the hell is that? Lump us all in together so you can't see our gorgeous faces? Well, that won't work for me. That won't work for any of my crew, either. So you know what, ICWF? You've broken rule number one. Never piss off Medusa. Never. That's your ass now. Now get this camera out of my face.
Medusa hisses at the camera as it fades to black.]
Venus lounges in the locker room.. waiting for the battle royal to be announced. He's wearing lavendar sunglasses then looks up, as if just not realizing the camera is there]
Venus: So, you want a word from me.. is that it? Very well, I didn't count on making my incredulous debut in a battle royal, but that's neither here nor there. I shall fight to the best of my ability, and if I happen to eliminate the competition, so be it.
The Lavender Lover will make his mark in the ICWF. You can count on it, darling.
<fade out>
(The scene is Visions of Fitness, a health club in LaVergne, Tennessee. The decor is entirely purple, as one might expect from a place owned by "Vision in Violet" Nancy James. The camera pans throughall the bikes, stairmasters, and weight machines, following the Vision back to Aerobics Room #1, where Kelly Kandelski has just finished teaching a class.)
ViV: Kelly, I need to see you in the office afterwards. There's been some news from Richter City. Jessica (turning to one of the women in the class), you too.
(A little later, the ladies arrive back in the office. Kelly has changed into a Nashville Nighthawks t-shirt and blue jeans, Jessica is in a gold lame dress that is entirely too short for the weather, and the Vision is still in her purple floor-length dress.)
ViV: Kelly, Jessica, I've just gotten word that the ICWF is back in action! They're having Season's Beatings in two weeks!
Kelly: Wow... I hadn't heard. Have we gotten contracts?
(The Vision passes the mail around.)
Jessica: Wow, a battle royal... this ought to be perfect for you two.
Kelly: The prize is... either a shot at the World title, or the TV championship outright, depending on what happens beforehand. I'd love to get that title--then we'd all three have had singles belts.
ViV: It'd be nice, but what I want more than anything is a rematch with the Masked Marauder!
Kelly: And Helen and Jill are getting a shot at the Mankillers! Hmm... aren't we champs of something-or-other?
ViV: You're right--we still have those triples belts! Vive la Force Feminine!
Jessica: Did you hear anything about the new Juniors division? Is TSSAA going to let Alan wrestle?
Kelly: They have clued in that this isn't the same sport, but we're still checking with the NCAA. He has a scholarship offer from Tennessee-Chattanooga possible. And I think I've seen a former NCW junior champ in the gym here... let me go see.
(Kelly leaves, and returns with a small young girl in a purple shirt and shorts.)
Kelly: Kathy, these are my teammates, Nancy and Jessica. Ladies, this is Kathy Summers.
(Kathy curtseys to the ladies, who shake her hand...)
Jessica: Aren't you Tara's sister?
Kathy: Yes.
ViV: I hear you're quite a little wrestler. Would you like to show me what you can do?
Kathy: OK.
(The Vision pages 47, and then all four go to the boxing/wrestling room, where a man is waiting in the ring.)
ViV: Kathy, this is Jim, one of our trainers. Jim, this is Kathy, one of our prospects. Show him what you can do, Kathy--Kelly, you referee them.
(Kathy catches Jim by surprise at first and almost pins him with a top-rope thrust kick, but Jim kicks out, and the two have a pretty good match, with Kathy's incredible quickness and Jim's technical skill making it well-balanced for the full 15 minutes.)
ViV: Well, it looks like you know what you're doing in there. By the way, do you have a name for that first move you pulled on Jim?
Kathy: Yes. It's called Walk Away While You Can.
(The others lapse into thought...)
Kathy: It's from a Tiffany song.
Jessica: Oh, of course, I should have known that from your sister...
ViV: Anyway, sign here, and you will be a member of the Silver Alliance.
Kathy: Mind if I take it home so Tara can look it over first?
ViV: Not a bit in the world!
(fade out)
Jessie: It's time for our first big match of the evening! It's for the vacant US tag titles. The Dogs Of War and Born To Be Wild will be going at it. Two of the teams who are still around from the last time around here in the ICWF.
Chad: Yeah, and lemme tell ya one thing. The Soultaker's guys are gonna make dogfood outta Starr and Westfield. Those two girls stand about as much chance of getting outta a fight with the dogs in one piece as a US mailman tossed into a kennel filled with rabid pitbulls stands of leaving alive.
Bob: Well, if you ask me I think Born To Be Wild have what it takes to put a leash on the dogs.
Chad: Well, ya see, Dopesky.. That's the thing. Nobody _did_ ask you.
Mike Duffer: This bout is scheduled for one fall and it IS for the US Tag Team titles. Introducing first, to my left, making their way to ringside accompanied by their bodyguard, the Dark Paladin. From the ninth level of hell and Valhalla, and weighing in at 521 lbs. combined.... Here are Cerebus and Fenris... the Dogs... Of.... WAAAAAAAAR!! (pause as Mike catches his breath)
(The three massive, masked, muscled men make their mark as they march to the mat. The fans booing almost drowns out Metallica's "The Four Horsemen", which plays from the PA speakers. All three completely ignore the crowd.)
Mike Duffer: And now, their opponents..... Hailing from Los Angeles, California and Dallas, Texas respectively and weighing in at a total combined weight of 315 lbs.... Accompanied to the ring by their manager, Susan James. Here are Samantha Starr and Carrie Westfield.....
(The crowd goes crazy as Steppenwolf's "Born To Be Wild" comes blaring over the PA system.)
Mike Duffer: Born.... To.... Be.... WIIIIIIIIIIILD!
(The three