Voice: Ain't nuthin' in the dark that ain't in the light. If it can kill you it can kill you. Don't matter. That's what life is all about. Everything born must die. Be it in the darkness or the light. You step on a night worm and it goes squish. You strangle a bat and it’s dead. It doesn't matter if it's a creature of the night or not. (Chuckle) People think the dark is scary? Hell no, it ain't scary. Check my project stairwells when the lights go out. That's scary. People don't go up the steps then. I did. I just went through. Because I had heat on me. I had the shank. Anybody wanted to try to pull a little Tom and Jerry bull on me and have my knuckles smashed through the ceiling they found themselves gettin' snatched right out of they . That's my word. I put that on my grandmamma. Never, God. Never. So Black Lotus, what do you think you're going to do to me if the lights go out, huh? What do you think is going to happen? You think you're just going to go into that ring and handle me like that? Never, bitch. Never. Here's how it's gonna go down. You gonna step in that ring. You're gonna do your little fancy feelin' up on a sista an' and then you gon ask the referee to check me so you can get in your little cheap shot like you always do. But it ain't gonna do you no good. Cause I won't let you live off my strength. Never that.
Marissa: You know the mistake you keep making. You know the mistake everybody keep making? You think of me like I'm Medusa. Well, I'm bigger than her. I'm faster than her. I'm smarter than her. I got my size and experience on her. So you can't even hold me down. You may think you made her tap and finished her career. Ain't true, duke. Never happened. Never will. An' I gotcha twice already, God. Twice. You think it ain't gon be three?
Marissa: (voice preternaturally calm) I don't rile up, Lotus. This ain't even personal between me and you like that. This is straight business. I need to kill you. And so I will. That's all there is to it on the strength. You know that. I know it, too. So you gon walk into that ring and you've got to beat me because your rep is through if you don't. I beat you and you finished. The dark just gets overlooked. And that's what's gonna happen, Lotus. My shine is gonna get you. You don't come to Coney Island with your little nonsense. Are you afraid of the dark? It don't matter, duke. It don't matter at all. Let me ask you the question that really really does matter. Are you afraid of dying?
Marissa: Because I am going to kill you, Lotus. (Smacking her lips) That's word to everything.
Owen: Marissa Monet is as focused as I’ve ever seen a wrestler. Lotus is going to be in for a long night.
Congo: Yea, well, Lotus can handle Monet. Just you wait.
Owen: Fans, let’s hear from Anais Exotica, who faces The Juvenile Delinquent Dina Porter.
Anais Exotica
Exotica: Ahh, the fine people who try to correct our wayward youth. I realize you didn't go here, of course, Ms. Porter. But it must have been something like it. All gloomy and depressing, not enough light, and not enough men. All the other girls taking advantage of cute little Dina, whose mom is big and famous. I bet you still think about it, locked up with some huge bull-dyke, hands grabbing you when lights out hit. Probably still is a part of your dreams.
Exotica: And now poor little Dina is out, and her lasagna-making Mom is all sad because they can't reconcile over pasta. Will Dina find a path of redemption through cooking like her mother and become a boring has been? Or in this case, a never was? Will Dina continue to wear the ugliest orange jumpsuit in existence? Will Ma Porter, Zaranna, and Lanny Manson get together in the old-age home they were put in and all sew? Tune in next week for another installment of "The Porter Family bores us to tears!" People, if we are GOING to do sports entertainment and family soap operas, do one that doesn't suck!
Exotica: Dina, you think you get to walk in here because your mom has name recognition? You think Ma Porter pulls some strings and you're in the cruiserweight tournament all of a sudden? Some of us WORK at this, Dina. Some of us have to pay our dues. And we don't like silver-platter mama's girls like you.
Exotica: And that's why you don't get a makeover. Sure, there's all kinds of things I can do with someone who dresses as ugly as you do, but it isn't worth it. You're a never-will-be who shouldn't be lacing up her boots in this fed, and aren't worth the time and trouble.
Exotica: We're at the Great Western Forum, baby. We're in Hollywood country. It's all about showbiz out here, and I am the Showgirl, Dina. Don't expect to share my spotlight.
Exotica: Little Miss Porter/ Here is a Quarter/ Go Buy Yourself a Clue/
I'll flip ya and trip ya/ Hell I'll downright strip ya/ And beat you black and blue.
Exotica: Time of your life, baby.
Owen: Exotica and Porter will really mix it up out there. Anais is a superb athlete. But a lousy poet....
Congo: Porter lost to Double O in her debut, but there were a lot of extenuating circumstances. She’s pretty green right now, but you’ll see this girl improve by leaps and bounds, mark my words.
Owen: No doubt she’s got toughness in her genetic make-up. Speaking of which, it’s now my distinct pleasure to throw the show to the other side of the set, where the legendary Ma Porter is scheduled to interview the insanely popular Lady Tiger! Take it away, Ma
Big Ma Porter
(The familiar opening lines of that’s Amore, by Dean Martin play as the scene switches to the kitchen-set that has been seen in previous weeks. A closed door separates the kitchen from the other section of GDWA studios. This time, Ma is sitting at the kitchen table. A tray of pasta is on the table. Ma looks around nervously as the music dies down)
Ma: Bonjourno, bonjourno! Its-a me, everybody’s favorite Ma, here once again to bring you a little information, a little entertainment, and a lot of cannoli! I have a great guest lined up this week, the one and only. Lady Tiger! (Chuckles to herself) I’ve also got ice cream in the freezer, but she can only have some if she finishes her pasta. Hey, Tigers a growing girl! And so thin! She needs a few square meals, that’s what I think.
Before she gets here, though, I have a few words for my daught (pause) for Dina. Dina, I tried to mend fences. I tried to prevent you from making the same mistakes I made. And you stabbed me right in the heart. Your own mother! That’s fine good luck to you in the GDWA, cause you’ll need it. As of right now, I want nothing more to do with you. You’re not my daughter anymore!
(Long pause; Ma turns away from the camera it’s hard to tell from the angle, but it looks like she wipes away a tear)
Enough dirty laundry! GDWA fans, my guest tonight is one of the most exciting GDWA superstars that I’ve ever seen. She and I have had our differences. She knocked me down once, and would not stop bragging about it. Of course, Ma Porter told the world that she would destroy Lady Tiger if she ever got the chance, but deep down, I knew this kid had something. I don’t know, call it moxie.
(A doorbell rings)
Ma: Ah, that’ll be her now. (Walks over to the door) Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to introduce my new friend, Lady Tiger!
(Ma opens the door with a dramatic gesture, but her face quickly turns into one of horror. Standing in the doorway is none other than Dina Porter, wearing her orange jumpsuit, her eyes burning a hole through Ma Porter. In her hand, she carries The Club Anti-Car theft device)
Ma: You!
Dina Porter
Dina quickly shoves The Club into Mas midsection. Ma doubles over in pain. Offstage, a crashing sound is heard, and Bishops voice yells "Call Security, now!” Meanwhile, Dina cracks The Club over Mas back, laying her flat. Ma is groaning on the floor of her kitchen, trying to protect her head. Dina lays into Ma in earnest, repeatedly clubbing her about the head even as Ma tries to protect herself. As she does this, Dina screams "How ya like that, Ma? That make you proud, huh? What a good girl! (Each word punctuated by a blow from the Club)
Owen Crane runs from his section of the studio through the open door, and tries to approach Dina
Owen: Just calm down. Just calm down.
Dina just stares daggers at Owen, and, like lightning, springs from Mas prone body onto him. Dina fells him with one blow to the head, and laughs. Owen clutches his head and moans.
She then proceeds to trash the set. With an angry look on her face, she smashes all the pasta jars, windows, and the flimsy kitchen table. From one of the walls, she snatches a sign reading "Mas Home Kitchen". She stares at this sign for a while, and then looks up at the camera focused squarely on her. With the sing in one hand and the Club in the other, she approaches the camera, stepping over Mas writhing body.
Dina: So, mommy’s dirty little secret finally speaks! Every so-called adult in this fed kept trying to keep me off the air. So I decided to make my point the only way I know how. Mommy Dearest thought she could educate me. I hope she’s learned her own lesson now. I grew up in Juvie Hall, fending for myself. And now, this pathetic excuse for a parent (points to Ma) gets it into her head to help me, after 18 years of neglect! Not one letter! Not one phone call! Not one visit!!!!
(Smashes the Mas Home Kitchen sign on the ground)
Dina: Dina Porter is her own woman. The rest of the dinosaurs around here are gonna fin learn that I run the show. That’s the only life I know, protecting what’s mine. People see me, and say "Oh, she’s no wrestler". And know what? There right! That’s why I’m