Ed: What the hell happened here?!?!?!
Biff: Mass destruction!
Ed: We need to take a break. We’ll be back.
Scene goes to the ring and each stable helping out their fallen friends.]
Scene goes to a Mr. America interview. No voice is heard, but some background music plays, then switches to a Diamond Brett Robbins interview]
Voice over: Next week on OWA Championship Wrestling. Mr. America takes on Diamond Brett Robbins.
Scene goes back as the fallen wrestlers are being helped back to the locker room]
Ed: Elaine Bryant is back in the locker room with the three responsible for this carnage.
Elaine in the locker room: I’m back here with.
Mr. America & Tom Tomorrow
Mr. America: Elaine, I love ya, but shut up. So now everyone wants to know what we’re up to. We’ll let me tell ya something. I got a little tired of sitting with my thumbs up my [BEEP: waiting for something to happen. So what do I do? We’ll I find out a little tidbit of information and I make a few calls. BAM! Here we go! You’re looking at three people that don’t give a good God [BEEP: what the heck goes on. I’ve claimed to be the OWA heat machine for a while. We’ll ever since winning that TV belt, I’ve been about as hot as a dead woman at the morgue. Frankly, I’m glad I don’t have that title anymore. I’m not restrained by those rules anymore that I was bound by when I was the champion. So what’s that mean? We’ll it sure as hell not good news for either Maxx or Blades, but then they’d have to stop doing that mime impersonation to say anything. Hazard talks about others who are silent. We’ll Tony, do something with your own before you blast anyone else. As far as you go Hazard. Remember that TV title match? I get to hear you say how you had me beat, we’ll if you’d remember correctly you didn’t get a chance to hit your finisher and I did. You were still groggy in that ring and it showed. Maxx and Blades, you’ve got two things that I have my eye on. Those pretty little belts around your waist.
Tom Tomorrow: Can you feel it? Can you sense it in the air? The balance of power in the OWA has shifted, ladies and gentlemen! Who is there that can stand up to our combined might? MP Inc.? The Elite? The Crew? Once we could speak of each of these groups as forces to be reckoned with, but now they are as dated as yesterday’s newspaper. To quote from the Bhagavad-Vita: “I am become Death, the Destroyer of Worlds!” Look upon us--the Destiny of the OWA! Mr. America. Taleis and I, Tom Tomorrow. [Strikes a pose: WRESTLER OF THE FUTURE!
Mr. America: Russ, we’ve been at it for almost a year and I don’t intend to let up until you can’t walk anymore. As for Stacks. She was just an added bonus like Monty. I told you that you hadn’t been repaid in full Virgo and Shogun. We’re still not finished. Though it does amuse me that when we started this feud out how Taleis was on your side. Seems to me that now he’s had a change of heart. Funny how things work isn’t it? He joined a few of my other friends elsewhere and one day I called and we got to talking. We’ll lookie what happened. I won’t tell you why he’s here because he can speak for himself.
Taleis: Virgo. You and the Crew are a bunch of suckers, plain and simple. You’re probably sitting back in the back, staring at your face reflected in the OWA TV belt, wondering why I would associate with these two men. A lot of you people (points to the camera) are probably sitting here wondering the same thing but don’t worry, the answer is quite simple. So simple, in fact, that even you morons sitting home on your ass will be able to understand it. (Taleis smirks.) These two men (points to America and Tomorrow) are veterans of the OWA. They know talent when they see it. Long story short, we all got together and decided to raise a little hell in the OWA, and this was a very small sample of what we plan to do. Get we’ll soon, boys and girls. We look forward to kicking your asses again! (Taleis laughs.)
Mr. America: My oh my! How things are starting to heat up around here! I hope everyone is ready because you’re looking at the future! Yeah Hazard, time the new blood got the spotlight and let you fade out to the background once again.
OWA TV Championship: Virgo vs. Harvard Earl
Announcer: This match is one fall and is for the OWA TV Championship. First, introducing the challenger. He weighs in at 325 pounds. This is Harvard Earl! And his opponent! Coming down the aisle, weighing in at 275 pounds. He is the OWA TV Champion. This is Virgo!
Ed: Here we go with Virgo’s first title defense. There’s the bell and we have a lock up. Virgo goes for a jumping side kick, but Earl with a duck down. Earl goes for a double chicken wing submission, but Virgo gets to the ropes.
Biff: Another lock up and Virgo goes around and nails a bridging back suplex. one. Kickout by Earl. Virgo goes to pull up Earl, but Earl nails him with a low blow. Earl with a kick to the midsection and a ropeburn. Earl is pulling out all the stops for this match.
Ed: Earl with an inside cradle. one. Reversal by Virgo. one. Kickout by Earl. Virgo up and nails Earl with an enzuigiri. Earl is up, but Virgo nails him with a clothesline. Earl ducks a second clothesline and nails Virgo with a reverse DDT.
Biff: Earl’s gonna win this. He nails a double underhook piledriver. cover. one. two. th. Kickout by Virgo! Northern Lights suplex by Earl. cover. one. two. th. Kickout by Virgo. Earl with a flying legdrop, but Virgo moves. He’s going to the top and nails a hurricanrana off the top rope!
Ed: Both men are down. Earl staggers to his feet as does Virgo. Virgo goes for a bridging back suplex but Earl counters with a headlock takedown. Virgo with a roll up! One. two. three!! He gets the pin. Earl is up and nails Virgo with a clothesline.
Biff: Asian Invasion is coming to ringside. Earl slides out of the ring. They both go for the TV Title. What’s going on here?
Ed: They’re playing tug of war with the OWA TV title. Virgo has gotten to his feet and slides out of the ring and grabs a chair and nails them both! He grabs the TV title and heads up the aisle!
Announcer: Winner of the match and STILL OWA TV Champion. Virgo!
Ed: We are out of time for this week. For the whole OWA crew, I’m Ed Bagel, and we’ll see you next week.