(Big face pop as Michaels walks down the aisle. He looks intense and focused, he is wearing his one-piece singlet and wrestling boots and has his long hair tied back into a pony tail. Michaels carefully eyes Firestarter and jumps into the ring)
John: "We have received word that Demonmaster has tried to make his way down the aisle to ringside but ESWP officials have taken great care to prevent any interference from this match, as this is a very important title match! It seems as if Demonmaster isn't finished yet with Firestarter, and Firestarter and Michaels with a lock-up, Michaels with a side headlock but the champion pushes him off."
Sheena: "And the ESWP champ now pounding into Michaels with a big uppercut... but Michaels blocks it! And Michaels retaliating now with uppercuts of his own! Firestarter staggering back, and Michaels follows it up with a THRUST KICK!! And Firestarter drops on one knee!"
(Face pop!!)
John: "Chris Michaels is a very intense athlete, and he connects with a HARD KICK INTO FIRESTARTER'S ANKLE!! What a furious start by the Superninja, Firestarter goes down and Michaels with a quick lateral press..."
1 . . Sheena: "But Firestarter throws him off. Much too early yet!"
Brittany: "Yeah, Firestarter is, like, a great wrestler!"
John: "Michaels can't keep him down but he now grabs Firestarter's arm and twists it into an armwringer... Firestarter tries to ram his elbow into Michaels to break this but he can't reach him... and the champ with a closed fist breaking the hold!"
(Crowd boos!)
Sheena: "But Michaels doesn't stop! He has been going downhill ever since losing the ESWP World J-belt to Sengir in late October and wants to win this title here tonight to make up for it... Michaels goes into the ropes as Firestarter gets back up... HIGH FLYING CROSS BODY PRESS! Can he keep him down...”?
1 . . 2 . . John: "No, and still not enough!"
Sheena: "But Chris Michaels really dominating the 299-pound athlete here tonight! Michaels follows it up with a fast Legdrop... and another..."
John: "And he connects every time! And Michaels goes to the second rope now... DROPS THE ELBOW!! And a cover..."
1 . . 2 . . Sheena: "And another kick out!"
John: "But Michaels is relentless!"
Brittany: "Yeah, like the Energizer Bunny!"
Sheena: "Ugh! And some people call ME a dumb blonde..."
Brittany: "What?"
Sheena: "Never mind..."
John: "Michaels with the pick-up and he whips Firestarter into the ropes, clothesline... but Firestarter catches him and a 360° BACKBREAKER!! And Michaels holds his back!"
Brittany: "Why is this called a backbreaker? I mean, he, like, doesn't actually break his b..."
Sheena: "Never mind. Firestarter with a breather now that he managed to drop Michaels on his knee... and he covers..."
1 . . 2 . . John: "But kickout by Michaels!"
Sheena: "He seems to be seriously hurt though, Firestarter picks him up and a whip-in, no, Michaels reverses... Firestarter tries to clothesline but Michaels leapfrogs, bounces off the ropes... RIGHT INTO A BIGFOOT BY FIRESTARTER!! Right into his jaw, this could be over..."
1 . . 2 . . John: "No, Firestarter can't keep him down!"
Sheena: "But Firestarter pulls Michaels up now... AND A HARD K=I=D=N=E=Y P=U=N=C=H!! THIS IS THE SET-UP FOR HIS FINISHER!!"
(Heel pop!!)
John: "And Firestarter signals for the Burning Zone Torture Rack!! He lifts Michaels up..."
Sheena: "BUT MICHAELS HAS BEEN WAITING FOR THIS!! He reverses and slips out of the Burning Zone AND SLAPS A FULL NELSON ONTO FIRESTARTER!!"
(Face pop!! Michaels struggles to fall back into the Suplex as Firestarter tries to break the Full Nelson)
John: "His finisher is the Dragon Suplex!! If he manages to fall back into the Bridge this is over!! Michaels struggles, we may have a new champ but Firestarter is too heavy for Michaels to Suplex at this point in the match... OOOH!! AND FIRESTARTER WITH A BACK MULE KICK!!"
(The crowd boos and yells as Firestarter frees himself with an obviously unfair maneuver)
Brittany: "I hope that didn't hit Chris were it, like..."
Sheena: "It hit Michaels somewhere where it hurts! The referee issuing a warning but the damage is done... and Firestarter picks Michaels up again... B*U*R*N*I*N*G Z*O*N*E!!"
(Heel pop!!)
John: "No one gets out of this... the ref checks... AND MICHAELS WAVES HIS ARM!! Michaels submits!!"
DING! DING! DING!
(Firestarter releases Michaels who drops to the mat. The referee then hands Firestarter the world title, and Prodigy's "Firestarter" plays)
Davie: "Ladies and gentlemen, your winner... AND STILL..."
(Heel pop!)
Davie: "... ESWP HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WOOOORLD... FIIIIIRESTARTER!!!"
(Firestarter raises the belt to a huge heel pop as Michaels crawls out of the ring. The crowd gives him a respecting ovation but Michaels face expresses anger and pain. He holds his back and favors one leg, two paramedics run in to help him but Michaels angrily pushes them away, refusing any help, and disappears backstage)
John: "Fans, Chris Michaels obviously unhappy about this loss, he came so close in his valiant attempt to lift the World title. We will be right back after this. Don't go away!"
(The camera comes up on the Kingpin and Napualokelani, sitting in the locker room. The Kingpin is grinning from ear to ear)
Kingpin: "Medusa, Medusa, Medusa... you never learn, do you? You're always a day late and a dollar short when it comes to the Kingpin. Why is that? Your dreads too tight? Pumped too full of steroids? Or is it just that you're a stupid bitch that can't get the job done? Aside from Dalbello and Godiva, your whole damn family is pathetic. Wasn't even a Rage who won the match, was it? And she couldn't even get the job done without a little accidental help from Napua. It must suck going to Rage family reunions, sitting around kissing Dal and Diva's asses, wishing any of the rest of your sorry asses were half as good."
(He puffs on his cigar and blows three perfect smoke rings)
Kingpin: "Oh yeah, by the way, the next time one of your pitiful little brothers puts his hand on me, he's going to draw back a stub. Got that? Remember, little boys, it took three of you to hold me back. Three. But no matter. Bottom line is, Napua's still the champ, the Rages are still a joke, and it took them locking Erykah in her locker room to win the match. I bet she's still pissed. With a little guidance and direction of all that energy, I think she could do a lot of dama..."
(He stops suddenly)
Kingpin: "But that's my business. Not yours."
(Ellen and Wendy Yates walk in from off camera. Ellen sits in the Kingpin's lap, running her hand over his bald head, Wendy stands behind him and puts her hands on his shoulders)
Kingpin: "It just doesn't get any better than this."
Ellen: "Time to go, sugar plum. We've got a date with the Donnas."
Wendy: "Now, how many World Tag Titles would that be for us?"
Ellen: "I don't know. Let's ask Medusa Rage." (She slides off the Kingpin's lap and he stands up) "Medusa, how many World Tag Titles will that make for me and Wen?"
(The Kingpin stamps his foot four times and snorts like a Clydesdale. All four of them fall out laughing)
Wendy (rubbing the Kingpin's head): "That's a good girl, Medusa. Good girl." (She looks at her hands, disgusted, then rubs them on her tights) "Yuck. Jerry Curl juice."
(Ellen cackles wildly. Napua grins, then hoists the World title belt up onto her shoulder)
Kingpin: "Yup. Still looks good there, sweetheart. Well, as you can see, I've got business to attend to. Float away, fruitcake. You bother me."
Ellen: "Bye, Medusa."
Wendy: "Too bad Christmas is over. I'd have sent her some more needles for her 'roids."
Ellen: "Well, obviously, she's got plenty. She gets them from Monet."
Wendy: "Oh, yeah. That makes sense."
Kingpin: "C'mon, sweet thangs... time to go to the ring."
(The camera cuts back from the broadcast table)
John: "Ladies and gentlemen, we're back, and just in time for the big women's tag title match! The Prima Donnas are defending the belts against Ellen and Wendy Yates from the Syndicate, and we all know that Dream Succubus are contenders number one since they are the winners of that brutal four-way earlier on tonight! We have just heard from the Syndicate, and it looks like they are more than ready to add yet another World title to their list achievements."
(The camera zooms on Davie in the ring who has the mike in hand. He is wearing a silly Santa hat and begins to announce)
IEWA WOMEN'S TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP: PRIMA DONNAS VS. ELLEN & WENDY YATES
Davie: "Ladies and gentlemen, the following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the IEWA Women's TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WORLD!!"
(Big crowd pop which turns into boos and yells as "Wsup? Wsup?" by LA Flow blares over the PA system)
Davie: "Introducing first, the challengers. Representing the Syndicate and weighing in at a total combined 270 pounds. From Kalamazoo, Michigan, here are... ELLEN AND WENDY YAAAAAATES!!"
(Ellen and Wendy step through the curtains, both sisters are wearing maroon women's singlets with matching boots, wrist tape and headbands. They stroll down the aisle, Wendy shouts at a fan in the front row, then enter the ring)
Sheena: "We all know that both teams are handicapped, so to speak, as their respective managers are banned from ringside to prevent any interference. We have also heard from President Boedder that he will strip