ICWF World Tag Team title defense as the Snake Sisters defend against the Apache Warriors
<Jessie, Lisa, Bob, and Chad stand at ringside, with an excited crowd waving and screaming all around. Colored lights flash over the arena as the latest show begins.>
Jessie: Good evening, everybody! Live from our beautiful studios here in Richter City, Florida, we bring you the ICWF Saturday Showdown! With me tonight are my esteemed colleagues, "Luscious" Lisa Madison, Chad "Romeo" Romero, and Bob Brodsky! We've got some big developments on tap for you tonight, right, Bob?
Bob: Absolutely, Jess! Tonight we've got a ton of belt action! Among others, you'll be seeing Spanish Rose taking on "Rocker" Ray Radford for the United States title, and Gretchen Gwynne will be defending against the dangerous Bambi! And our singles main event features the one and only Arlechino in action against the powerful Kommando Karla!
Chad: Yeah, but you're leavin' out the best part! We've got two kick-butt tag matches, as the Dogs of War meet Fury for the Intercontinental titles, and then the big one--the Snake Sisters take on my big guns, the Mankillers, for ALL the marbles!
Jessie: What an exciting program. Coming up now we have Erik the Awful, who really hasn't been doing very well here in the ICWF.
Chad: The man is just in a slump. And anyway, with a valet like that Johanna, who cares if he's not doing so well in the ring. I'll be he's doing _just_ fine outside it.
Jessie: Chad, pull your mind out of the gutter for once, will you? However, now that you've brought up the matter of Johanna, do you think she may have aspirations to step into the ring herself? Seeing her actions last time Eric had a match. If you recall she went into a stare down with Erik's opponent, Bambi, after the match was over.... Well, you have to wonder.
Lisa: Well, actually, I've been doing some digging, and it turns out Johanna has actually been involved in professional sports before she became Erik's valet. She was in fact a gold medalist cross country skier for Norway. A sport which takes a lot of stamina and strength I might add. Maybe she has grown tired of being just a valet rather than an active competitor. Who can tell?
Jessie: Well, maybe we will see Johanna in the ring in the future. Maybe not. However, tonight it's her man, Erik the Awful it's all about. Let's go to Michael Duffer who is ready at ringside.
Michael Duffer: Laaaadies and gentlemeeeeen! The following match is one fall, 20 minute time limit. Introducing first, already in the ring and weighing in at 240 pounds... Here is "DAAAAANGER".... WILL... ROBINSON!
(Robinson jumps up on the second turnbuckle and pumps his fist in the air, actually getting a minor pop from some of the marks. Most of the people couldn't care less what he did though)
Chad: Faaaaaantastic. First the WWF/WCW rejects, FutureShock, are resigned to fight here... And NOW you're telling me I'm gonna have to watch THIS loser again? I mean, COME ON! He makes Bulk Hogan look talented!
Bob: Hey! The Bulkster is an amazing competitor! And a true American!
Chad: He's a balding, no-talent, no-work rate former steroid freak. The only difference between him and Robinson is that Robinson still has his hair and is smaller than the Yellow One.
Bob: Why you no good....
Michael Duffer: Aaaand his opponent! Hailing from Scandinavia, and weighing in at 264 pounds. Escorted to the ring by his valet, Johanna.... The Viking Warrior of the ICWF.... ERIK... THE... AAAAAAAWFUUUUUUUUL!
(The fans boo the two as they walk down the aisle towards the ring. Erik wears black tights, fake animal furs, and a horned helmet, carrying a spear. He has long, red scraggily hair and a large red beard. Johanna wears a chain mail crop-top and bikini bottom, with chic knee-high fur boots. She's well-muscled, large-breasted, and blonde. Erik threatens a fan with his spear and seems almost like he's about to attack the man when Johanna glares at him and points towards the ring. Erik immediately forgets the fan and heads into the ring.)
Jessie: It would seem Johanna has her man under control, so to speak.
Chad: To tell the truth, I can understand why. That was one SCARY look she gave him. Somehow I wouldn't want to get on this woman's bad side.
Bob: Here's the bell, and Erik attacks Robinson right off the bat! Those are CLOSED FISTS! Where's the flag, ref?
Chad: Looks like Erik is tired of losing! HAH! Look at that! He's mauling Robinson with those punches! This is GREAT!
Jessie: Will is backed into a corner with no way to escape, and Johanna is looking at Erik work and nodding approvingly. Knee to the gut by Erik. And another! Robinson is being manhandled here. Erik tries to lock him up for a DDT... NO! "Danger" Will Robinson just sunset flipped out of it! ONE... TWO... THR... NO, kickout by Erik the Awful! Nearly an upset here tonight.
Chad: Johanna is FURIOUS on the outside... She is shouting something at him in some language I can't understand... Scandinavian probably.
Johanna: Din JAEVLA IDIOT! Stopp det tullet og DREP denne helvetes sveklingen!
Lisa: Norwegian actually, Chad. "Scandinavian" is not a language.
Chad: Uhm... yeah... That's what I meant... WAITAMINUTE! You understood that? What did she say?
Lisa: Yes, I did understand it. And I'm afraid I can't repeat it on TV.
Jessie: Whatever it was it worked. Erik is all over Robinson again. BIG clothesline! Kick to the ribs! He picks him up... SUPLEX! Picks him up again, and... BLOCKED BY ROBINSON! And Will is looking PISSED!
Bob: I don't believe this! Erik doesn't believe it! Johanna REFUSES to believe it! Will Robinson is SLUGGING Erik the Awful with lefts and rights worthy of Mike Tyson!
Jessie: Indeed he is. I've never seen Robinson so fired up before, and Johanna looks like she's been stunned by what she's seeing! Erik is in a daze as "Danger" Will lifts up Erik the awful.... BACKBREAKER! He picks him back up... SNAP SUPLEX! Robinson up again, and putting Erik in a Boston Crab! Look at the pain on Erik's face!
Chad: .....
Bob: CHAD doesn't believe it!
Lisa: Will releases the crab.... Bounces off the ropes.... LARIAT BY ROBINSON!
Jessie: Now _I_ don't believe this! When did Will Robinson learn moves like those? Erik has been reduced to a punching bag here! Robinson is back up.... Climbs to the top rope..... Erik is down and out on the mat... And finally Johanna is reacting! She's chasing over towards Robinson from down on the floor, but it's too late! Will is flying off the ropes towards the prone Erik! BIIIIG TOP ROPE SPLASH!! The cover! One... Two... THREE!!!
Bob: ROBINSON WINS!! ROBINSON WINS!! ROBINSON WINS!!!
Chad: But.... But.... But....
Jessie: Let's get the official word from Michael Duffer.
Michael Duffer: The winner of this match, at 2 minutes, 34 seconds.... "DAAAAANGER".... WILL..... ROOOOOOBI...HEY!!!!
Lisa: Oh my! It looks like this one's not done yet! Erik is still down, but Johanna just stormed into the ring with murder in her eyes, and she's ALL over Will Robinson! Clothesline! DDT! Short clothesline! Stomp! Another stomp! And another!
Chad: YES! YESYESYES!! Elbowdrop! Kneedrop! Legdrop across the throat! Will Robinson is squirming in pain! She picks him back up! She's got him bent over! POWERBOMB! YEEEESSSSSS!!!!
Bob: This is a DISGRACE! She should be fined and suspended! OUCH!
Chad: ANOTHER POWERBOMB! YESYESYES! AND ANOTHER ONE! BWAAAHAHAHAAAA! I _love_ this woman!
Jessie: Control yourself, Chad! Johanna drags Will Robinson over the ropes and is keeping him on the apron.... She's shouting something at Erik who's finally back on his feet.....
Johanna: Din helvetes IDIOT! Is THAT how you deal with a _forbanna_ NOBODY like this guy? I vill SHOW you vhat to do!!
Bob: Oh no... It looks like she's going to... NO! SHE CAN'T DO THAT!
Chad: Oh yes she can! WATCH HER! She's got Robinson bent over again.... And here we go! ROBINSON GOES UP AND ROBINSON GOES DOWN! SPLAT! Call the paramedics! BWAAAHAHAHAAAAA!
Not anymore she isn't.
Jessie: She's tough, but how much more can she take? Sanders slams Maria with a left to her jaw, then drops her with a kick to her gut. Maria's on one knee, but Jennifer pulls her hair back and slams her head on the mat. She drags her by the hair to her corner, tags Princess who jumps off the top rope with a kneedrop to her chest. Princess stomps her body and pulls her up and throws her into the corner where Sanders grabs here hair and holds her while Princess runs into Maria with a knee to her chest. White separates them, but Maria's nearly out. She staggers out as Princess runs at her. Maria drops and rolls to Tanya and tags her. She still had the presence of mind to tag out. Tanya runs in and threatens Princess with her fists.
Bob: Hit her! Show no mercy!
Chad: Hey, take it easy. You're an announcer.
Jessie: Princess begs for mercy, but Tanya moves in and drives a fist into her belly, a kneelift to her chest and Princess falls back against the ropes. Tanya grabs her hair and tosses her across the ring. She grabs her again and another snap mare. Princess sits up and catches a foot to the back of her head. Tanya's going for the kill as she picks up Princess for a bodyslam. Princess bounces off the mat and just lays there. Tanya drops on her with an elbow to her chest, then lays across her for the pin. The count, 1..........2.., and Princess kicks out. These battlers are too tough for a mere pin. It's way too early.
Chad: Yes, it is. This will go on for some time yet.
Jessie: Tanya pulls Princess up and throws her to Maria who rams a boot into