Promos from The New Browne Girls, Burning Rain, Chelsea Vandervilt and more.
(The scene is the Oakland Coliseum Arena in Oakland, California. The camera view starts with a distance view of the ring, showing three people sitting behind a desk, a wall of monitors behind them. Then the camera angle starts circling and moving inward as Atomic Dog by Parliament, the GDWA theme music begins the play. Finally the camera stops, showing two women and one man. The woman in the middle has cafe au lait skin and blond hair, wearing a blue blazer with the GDWA logo on the right side. The man wears wire rim glasses and a matching blazer. The other woman is Asian, her hair dyed ice blue, wearing street style leathers in black and ice blue.)
Nina: Hello and welcome again to the MVP! I'm Nina LeRoux and joining me is Rod Harrison and the globetrotting Razor Tsuruta. We had a white hot show this past week, culminating in Officer Order winning the World's Championship! Wow! Dementia Praecox has even fallen from the top five after her loss. Despite holding the title for several months, she's never seemed to have gotten any respect, ideas why?
Rod: Pure jealousy. Dementia, someone not a member of the rulebreaking gangs, won the worlds title. The Syndicate was tricked and embarrassed and the Age of Rage just picked up on that. Dementia did what none of them could do, except for Andrea Chandler, and it pissed them off. You notice, Syndicate and the Age of Rage were the people slamming Dementia most viciously.
Razor: And Rod might even be right for once. Otherwise I can't explain it. Dementia won the title by cheating, but she won. She defended the title by cheating, and against some of the best in the GDWA. Since neither the Age of Rage or Syndicate have ever had a trouble with cheating to win before, I can't explain it. Yes, most of Dementia's matches ended less then conclusively, but so did the Misfits and no one ever dogged them.
Nina: Well, whatever the reason, we still have an action packed show tonight, with comments from some of the best in the GDWA! So let's start with the African Dawgs themselves, the GDWA World Tag Champs, the Hyena Queens!
The Hyena Queens
(The scene is a penthouse in Pine Bluff, Arkansas. The Hyena Queens are studying their opponents for the World Title match at the Fall Moonsault. Angela Bassett pumps iron, laid out on the bench press, as Terry McMillen sits in front of a monitor....)
'Technician' Terry McMillen: We've broken down the strengths and weaknesses of all the tag teams at the GDWA Fall Moonsault pay per view. Now, after much deliberation, Angela is going to give her final synopsis made public for the first time.
'Powerbomb' Angela Bassett: Let me warn you that this will be rather explicit, and isn't meant for the lighthearted. No offense ladies, but business never personal.
'Technician' Terry McMillen: Let's begin with the first team we face that night. The Burning Rain.
'Powerbomb' Angela Bassett: You said Burning Rain? How lucky can 2 women get?! The only team in Grand Dragon history that receive title shots for LOSING a match! What the hell is that? Burning Rain, I don't care who's big toe you are sucking on...you may have gotten to the head of the line, but on September first we gonna show you why the Hyena Queens rule the world!
'Technician' Terry McMillen: How about their arch rivals the Suicide Blondes...oops! I'm sorry, they already received a title shot, and couldn't get the job done.
'Powerbomb' Angela Bassett: You damn right they couldn't get the job done. Blondes, you blew it! Now you wanna talk all big and bad after the fact, talking about how you coulda, shoulda, woulda! You wanna wage war with the African Dawgs, but come up with excuses when you could render the belts from our hands. You either get the job done, or you *do* the jobbin! And you can take THAT to the bank!!
(Angela looks about quizzically, as she glares into the camera.)
'Powerbomb' Angela Bassett: As a matter of fact, there are a lot of hypocrites out there who *suddenly* want a crack at our titles. Listen up ladies. The Hyena Queens never measured success by the wins and losses we received throughout our career. Success is about money in the bank and gold around our waist...AND WE'VE GOT *ALL* Of IT!
'Technician' Terry McMillen: Translation: Take on the best and get jobbed like the rest...and to the new MISFITS who just got done downsizing their team...if you feel like you're all that NEW and IMPROVED Lauryn and Godiva, bring yourselves to the Moonsault. And if you get lucky, we might defend the belts 3 times that night.
(She hits pause, and sets the remote control down upon a stack of Essence and Jet magazines. A smirk wiggles its way across the Technician's face.)
'Technician' Terry McMillen: And speaking of stables....Syndicate, I don't think you wanna be running your mouth about 'the Queens of the Ring' the Hyena Queens. We ran Andrea Chandler and Micki Duran out of the tag ranks, and we ran YOUR OTHER tag team *CLEAR OUT* of the GDWA. Do you really wanna go there? You better caution some of your junior members TO SHUT THEIR TRAP! Because they sure as hell don't know what they are getting into...they will STRIKE out just like all the others.
(Angela sits up from the bench press and grins into the camera.)
'Powerbomb' Angela Bassett: Kingpin, bring them 2 Syndicate rejects Sally "I'm too sexy for CCW" McClane and Tiffany "I wanna be just like Andrea when I grow up" Chandler to the ring next week on the Catfight, and we'll show them why we are the best thing happening today!
'Technician' Terry McMillen: Hmm, the tag card is getting kind of sparse now. We got Ren and Stimpy against the Brown Girls. The winner faces us later in the night for the STRAPS!
(Angela Bassett is actually awestruck, and takes a swig of mineral water as she glances over at Terry.)
'Powerbomb' Angela Bassett: The _new_ Brown Girls? You mean the bargain basement tag team of the GDWA?
'Technician' Terry McMillen: The ONE and ONLY!
(Angela hops up from the bench press and walks over to Terry McMillen's trophy case. Her part of the WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES is encased, shining obtusely for the camera.)
'Powerbomb' Angela Bassett: The damn Brown Girls....Girls, you use that word BROWN lightly, don't you? Marissa, if you even GET to us at the end of the night, we're gonna show and prove to you what it means to be a PROFESSIONAL wrestler!
'Technician' Terry McMillen: And Idaho Browne....
'Powerbomb' Angela Bassett: She really *is* a ho, Terry.
'Technician' Terry McMillen: I know, you know, and most of all Mike Whalen the GDWA gigolo knows most of all. But Browne, YOU don't seem to realize that Sally McClane is enough harlot for a respectable women's fed to bear responsibility for. Girrrrl, don't make me get up and get my belt! Cause I'll get to whoopin' your sorry black behind for makin' the race look bad.
'Powerbomb' Angela Bassett: Brown Girls, you 2 cowards haven't asked for a title shot since we whooped the hell out of old Dalbello "I think I'll collect my retirement check" Rage and Godiva! And they had TWICE the guts that ya'll got! How much nerve does it take to face us after we wrestle the Burning Rain in a grueling 5 minute match up!? So as far as we are concerned, you Girls are just as white as Ma Porter’s big ass!!
(Terry prints out an e-mail, and walks about her apartment, reading and shaking her head in disbelief.)
'Technician' Terry McMillen: Now, rumor has it that the hot heads in the GDWA administration are creating a second tag belt. What better way to avoid the Hyena Queens then to play second fiddle to us!
'Powerbomb' Angela Bassett: The Ladies Extreme belt...that's what they call it! Well as far as we're concerned, you can enact all your little childhood dreams in that little playground called the LEWA tournament! But when you sorry ass High Flying Jobbers and Idol TKO Otanashi tag teams of the GDWA want to step up to the WORLD TITLE competition, come knockin' on OUR door. Because the African Dawgs plan on wearing these straps for an awful long time!
(Angela settles back under the rack, and hoists the bar up, and brings it back down to her chest as she Terry returns to her PC.)
'Powerbomb' Angela Bassett: Ladies of the GDWA, we're the Queens of the ring. And when it's all said and done, remember what we told ya: Take on the best and get jobbed like the rest!
'Technician' Terry McMillen: "All Hail the Queens!"
(Scene fades to black as the Hyena Queens chuckle in the background.)
Rod: Hyena Queens with words with all the teams in the GDWA. At least they are not afraid of anyone.
Razor: But Fall Moonsault might be overdoing it. They apparently defend their titles twice there. And THAT is a rough task for anyone.
Nina: One team the Queens claim to have 'downsized' is the Misfits. Let's hear from the NEW Misfits.
The New Misfits
Godiva: Suicide is painless. That's wot the song says. I ruddy well agree. Suicide Blondes, we 'ave a bit of unfinished business with you. You 'aven't been popular around this league since forever. Remember the clashes we 'ad on television, over the airwaves. Remember your cute little Poppy Rage shtick. Oi, we do. Remember shovin', Lauryn about the place at Madison square Gardens? We do. You know, this Association needs another knock down drag out little tiff to get its juices going again. That's right what it needs. But you lot want to fool around with Burning Rain? Oh, please. Let's visit a bit of sense on the world. Let's get it right, you know? Blondes, I recall neither of us really ever did get the chance to prove which of us was the better team. And now, let's see, we've got that