Mutt: But that was stupid. Anyone with some common sense would have allowed the ref to make the count. Sachie Yokoyama flew over the top turnbuckle and to the floor on the outside. Staci X might have gotten the count out win just that quick.
Bishop: Staci X now, with a Sideheadlock and a head of steam....
Mutt: ....but Sachie Yokoyama countering with a Waistlock and an Atomic Drop. Sachie Yokoyama reentering the ring, and breaking the count. I think Sachie wants a decisive winner out of this one.
Spud: 10 minutes have gone by in the 15 minute time limit. 5 remaining.
Bishop: Staci X up on the ring apron and Sachie Yokoyama with a Thrust Kick to the midsection....AND A VERTICAL SUPLEX BACK INTO THE RING. THE COVER....1...2...KICK OUT!
(Fans cheering on as Sachie Yokoyama picks up Staci X.)
Mutt: Sachie Yokoyama with an Irish Whip and Staci X hits the corner. Sachie rubbing her head as she heads over to the corner. Sachie Yokoyama now, nailing Staci with a number of vicious roundhouse kicks to the body and head. She got the champs dander up.
Bishop: Sachie Yokoyama walking away from the corner....AND A SPINWHEEL KICK TO THE HEAD OF STACI X! STACI X CRUMBLES TO THE MAT.
(Dawg Pound barking: Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof!)
Bishop: Sachie with a pick up and a Shoulder Breaker. Lateral Press. ..1...2...kick out!
Spud: 14 minutes have gone by. 60 seconds remaining! 60 seconds left!
Bishop: Sachie Yokoyama pointing out to her friend Charlotte La Mancha, as she picks up Staci X. She applies a Waistlock and a Saito Belly to Back Suplex. Oh Wow!
(Crowd cheering as Sachie Yokoyama applies an Armbar!)
Bishop: THAT'S THE JAPANESE WAKIGATAME ARMBAR! SUBMISSION HOLD!!!
Mutt: She hasn't got it applied very well, but with all that damage she did to her left arm, it could just be a matter of time.
Bishop: Staci X in a grip of pain. She's got great stamina, but her arm has really been hammered upon since the opening bell. Can she hold out?
(Big crowd pop as Staci X writhes around on the mat.)
Spud: 30 seconds!
Mutt: Sachie Yokoyama is down on the mat really grinding down on it. This could be it.
Bishop: Staci's making the nod!
*Ding*Ding*Ding*Ding*
(Fans cheer as they hear 'Antonio Baka Guy' by Shonen.)
Spud: At 14 minutes 38 seconds, your winner, via submission is the Western Heritage Champion! The 'Dangerous Queen' Sachie Yokoyama.
Bishop: Sachie Yokoyama showing a bit of a temper at the end of the match, but now she's showing some sportsmanship. She's checking on Staci X, and Staci gets to her feet. She looks her dead in her eye... and shakes her hand!
(Fans pop as Sachie Yokoyama and Staci X hug.)
Mutt: That makes me sick. Charlotte, Sachie and Staci leave the ring together like the best of friends. Makes me sick.
Bishop: Before we get to our Main Event, let's take you down now to Paul Laurence Dunbar for a special interview with Daisy Butterfly. Paul?
Dunbar: Well, Allen, I was scheduled to interview Daisy Butterfly, but she's not here yet. Maybe we should take the cameras back to the dressing room and find out where....
(The Kingpin comes strolling out, followed by Andrea Chandler, Micki Duran, and STRIKE.)
Dunbar: What the HELL are you doing out here? This isn't your time; this is Daisy Butterfly's time...
Kingpin: Well, son, I just don't think that's going to be happening tonight. Daisy chose to run her mouth about us last week, and today we had to show her exactly what happens when you jump on The Syndicate. Perhaps next time, she won't be so quick to write checks with her mouth that her ass can't cash.
Dunbar: What do you mean, you had to show her what happens?
Kingpin: Well, why don't you trot your little ass back to her dressing room and ask her?
Andrea: Wait, I don't think she's going to be able to answer... (They all laugh.)
Dunbar: You people are sick. Allen, we're going to try and get a camera back in Daisy's locker room and find out what this is all about.
(Behind him, Micki Duran pulls out Daisy's ring robe, and the Syndicate takes turns punching and stomping on it.)
Dunbar: This is just ridiculous...Back to you, Allen!
Bishop: Oh no! I hope Daisy is alright.
Mutt: This is just lovely. Now, let's get to our next match. Just makes life perfect for once.
Charlotte La Mancha vs. Big Ma Porter
Spud: Wrestling fans, our final contest is scheduled for one fall with a 15 minute time limit.....and is our Main Event this week!
(Fans cheer as they hear 'Robin Hood: Men in Tights')
Bishop: Charlotte looks concerned, yet focused. I think something has happened to Daisy.
Mutt: So? Hey, she shouldn't mess with the Syndicate. Now she learned her lesson. Hold on, I just got word that Paul is in the back with some news. Go ahead Paul!
Dunbar: Thanks, Sam. We're back in Daisy Butterfly's dressing room. As you can see, Daisy isn't here. She's been rushed to the hospital, where she'll be getting what the paramedics said should be nine stitches to close up a gash in her forehead put there by the Syndicate, who apparently stormed into this locker room earlier, and pummeled Daisy brutally. The Executive Board will be looking into this, and probably levying some heavy duty fines against the Kingpin and company. Once again, Daisy Butterfly should be all right after this horrible attack by the Syndicate, and should be back next week. Back to you, Sam and Allen.
Spud: Hailing from Nice, France! She is 5 feet 6, 130 pounds! Here is Charlotte La Mancha!
(Fans cheer as she heads down the aisle in a rain coat, carrying a whale harpoon.)
Bishop: Sachie Yokoyama isn't out here to accompany Charlotte. She must be with Daisy at the hospital.
Mutt: That makes it all the better for the big woman. I can't wait!
Spud: And her opponent....
(Fans boo as they hear 'I Shot the Sheriff' by Bob Marley)
Spud: Led down the aisle by her manager Tony Angelo...from Queens, New York. She is 6 feet tall, weighing 212 pounds! Here is Big Ma Porter!!!
(Fans from all over throw trash and debris as she spits on a ringside fan...)
Mutt: She may be the most despised woman in Grand Dragon history, but she's also the most feared. You remember the Grand Dragon magazine! She's gonna destroy this Frenchwoman.
Bishop: Before today's card, Charlotte had some comments for Ma Porter...
Charlotte La Mancha
(The camera opens on a room in a television studio, and it looks like it's pledge time. There's a bank of phones on one side of the room, under a large sign that tells how much money they've raised so far. The host steps in front of the camera, complete with tacky polyester suit and ear-to- ear grin. The host, Charlotte LaMancha refers to a nearby video monitor as she speaks.)
Charlotte: Yes, friends, I'm here today to ask you to reach into your pockets and donate on behalf of these poor souls, who cannot control their basic urges. Yes, friends, I am speaking of...overeaters! If the scientific facts we've given you so far haven't swayed you, listen to this, tragic tale:
(The video monitor shows the interior of a Fast-food restaurant, which looks nearly deserted. The young man behind the counter is idly wiping the counter when the ground starts to shake. He gets a look of panic on his face, and screams...)
Kid: OH no!!! IT'S HER!!
(A huge man, wearing a Ma Porter mask, walks in to the restaurant, barely squeezing through the door. 'She' walks up to the counter, her shadow dwarfing the young man behind the counter.)
Porter: Give me 2 dozen Cheeseburgers
Kid: mm, I'm sorry, miss...but, we're all out of cheeseburgers.
Porter: WHAT!! WHAT KIND OF BURGER JOINT IS THIS!!
Kid: I’m sorry, Miss Porter, but you ate them all for breakfast!
Porter: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!! I ONLY HAD 3 DOZEN FOR BREAKFAST!! I HAVE TO KEEP MY GIRLISH FIGURE, YOU KNOW!!
Kid: Well, you see...
Porter: I NEED CHEESEBURGERS!!!!! CHEESE BURGERS!!!!!!
(The video monitor shuts off, returning us to Charlotte.)
Charlotte: Yes, folks, if you contribute just a few dollars now, we can help poor souls like Ma Porter, who have to go through every day a huge, disgusting, overfed blimp. Please...give generously.
Mutt: How dare Charlotte! Ma Porter is gonna kill her once she hears about this!!!
Bishop: Charlotte, always the prankster. Back to the action, Ma Porter so arrogant. Yelling at Charlotte La Mancha. Pointing at Charlotte now, more or less saying she'll squash her. And Charlotte is motioning with the harpoon saying something about 'thar she blows'!
(Fans cheering as Ma Porter enters the ring.)
Bishop: Porter is pissed off! Charlotte is in the corner giving her raincoat and harpoon to a ringside attendant....
Mutt: ...and Ma Porter charges in!
Bishop: ....but Charlotte was expecting it! Ma Porter rams into the corner as Charlotte rolls her up from behind.....1....2....kick out!
(Fans cheering as Ma Porter and Charlotte La Mancha get to their feet.) *Ding*Ding*Ding*Ding*
Bishop: There's the bell, and Charlotte immediately with a Single Leg Takedown on the slower Porter. Charlotte with a Spinning Toe Hold and Ma Porter kicks her out of it!
Mutt: Charlotte flew half way across the ring! What power! Ha! I love it.
Bishop: Ma Porter back up and Charlotte on her feet. Ma Porter charging Charlotte La Mancha and Charlotte with a Dropkick!