Suddenly, a man, 6. 1, 250lbs comes walking down the aisle. No special gear, just the jeans and boots. In fact, he is not in wrestling gear at all. He is wearing a T-shirt]
Ed: This is odd, perhaps the injured Davey Scott has been told not to wrestle tonight. Or perhaps, this is part of a deception.
Biff: Nah, he not that great at it.
Davey climbs into the ring, and grabs the microphone, looking at Jack Collins]
Davey: Sir, the doctor has just told me that I am not to wrestle tonight, so I just came out to tell you, however I am sure another wrestler is out to replace me.
Ed: If Jack shakes his hand, that is like sleeping with a Viper, and that exactly what Davey turned into, a Viper.
Jack shakes his hand, Davey smiles, then suddenly, kicks the midsection with his right leg, a kick so hard that Jack goes down. ]
Davey: BUT I NEVER SAID I LISTEN TO DOCTORS YOU FOOL!
Ed: Man, what deception!
Biff: THIS IS GREAT!
Ed: You seem happy.
Biff: Hey, when you got an injured knee and you’re going against someone taller then you, you got to use deception.
Ed: Davey superkicks him to the corner and what this, Davey goes to the other corner, runs towards Jack.
Biff: Jack tries to move out of the way, but Davey has no intention of running into him. He jumps up and. A FRANKSTEINER!
Ed: Ooooh. Did you hear the sound of that? A pin. It is a cover. 1......2......3. it is over.
Biff: Yes, Davey is back with the most devastating force. You would be amazed what you can do when you lose 50 lbs. That is one tally mark for Davey Scott. I can see why Consuelo is afraid of Davey. Look at him, that was not the same man we saw left.
Ed: I am sure Consuelo was watching this, even though no official match been signed up, due to her refusal to his proposal. His insults to her, and pretty much the Femme, probably cause some kind of provoked action, so you can expect they are watching him, to see if he is going walk the walk as he can talk the talk. From what we see here. I don’t know.
Biff: Hah! You don’t know anything. Back the studio...:
Elaine: Davey Scott taking advantage and getting the win. I think I might like his new style.
Shelly: Oh please. Davey Scott’s just taking the shortcut. No nobility in that, Elaine.
Elaine: You have to do what you have to do to make it in this business.
Shelly: Speaking of that. Let’s hear from someone who always does whatever it takes. Mr. America.
Mr. America
The scene opens to a room. Mr. America has his feet propped up on the table in front of him. A phone sits next to him on the sofa.]
Mr. America: So, where to begin Bob? Who cares, I have a few people to address. First off, Virgo. The man with the identity crisis. So, let’s rebuttal your arguments and then add in my own. The Equalizer serves the purpose of dominating the SWF. Sorry, but you have yet to accomplish that. I’m actually flattered though that you’ve started to call yourself the heat machine over there.
Mr. America smirks.]
Mr. America: No, I’m not returning and I’ll get to why in a moment. While I was there you never tried to lay claim to that title and for a very good reason. You knew you’d fail in trying to get it because you can’t best me no matter how hard you try. As for Micky’s ideas. Funny that you beat up the pathetic manager already once and got rid of him. What’s he doing back? Oh wait, that was Equalizer and not Virgo. My, what’s with the dual identities? Holy Big Al. s, Diamond Brett Robbins! It’s simple really. You can’t dominate there and you sure as hell can’t get rid of me. It’s tearing you apart so much that you don’t know who or what you are anymore, but then again, that seems to be the latest fad with some people and like always. You jump on a bandwagon like a true follower should. Trinity? Too easy to beat verbally. As for the SWF, I was waiting for you to pull that lame squawk about you running me out. Truth is, Virgo. The SWF became lame. I was allied with the only people that mattered. You for example. One of lamest. You were the poet of the SWF and you didn’t quite know it. The Master of Disaster. How many other nicknames are you going to come up with? There were no verbal challenges in the SWF. I was the God of that absolute monarchy and you were merely a pawn of the puppet king. I could spout off the names, but I don’t have time to run through the rest of the SWF minus my friends there. Those three know who they are.
Mr. America takes a handful of peanuts from a bowl on the table.]
Mr. America: To put it in an analogy you’d understand, Virgo.
Mr. America holds up a peanut.]
Mr. America: The visage you see every time you look in the mirror, Virgo. You’re nothing but something to satisfy my hunger for wins and we both know it. You cling to a past win by throwing me off the roof. Wow, I’m impressed. You can do a lot more? I highly doubt that Virgo. You haven’t done anything but move up a whole lot of points on the lame-o-meter chart. You’ve gone down and I’ve gone up. Anyone in their right mind could see that, but then again. You are Virgo and you are the Equalizer. You don’t know which mind is right and I’m just going to laugh when you figure out it’s neither.
Mr. America throws the peanuts back into the bowl.]
Mr. America: Let’s see. Asian Invasion said something to me. Mrs. America? Asian, you’ve lost quite a few steps from what I’ve seen. The last time you wrestled and were a house hold commodity was when I carried the Evil Empire all those months ago. You grabbed a ride on my coat tails. What have you done since then? Nothing and that’s what we’ll continue to get out of you. Fantasia, you just come across as a product from Russ’ backyard. Don’t step where you can’t walk. That’s the easiest way to avoid getting hurt.
Mr. America puts his feet on the ground.]
Mr. America: Anthony Hazard, my how the legend is so easily proven to be something he’s not. What’s the matter? The tights and ropes not easy to kick out of? Nice try with Ricky, but Mr. Hype proved just that. He’s nothing but Hype and I’ve said that since the get go. You two thought you’d get the upper hand, but Taleis and I have played the rule-breaking game much longer than either of you two. Tonight was just experience over hype. Well, then again. I wouldn’t even call your performance hype because it doesn’t match up to the definition. Ah well, just another name to add to people who want my head on a pike.
The phone rings and Mr. America picks it up.]
Mr. America: Yo, what’s up? Who? HEY! Long time no see, what’s been going on? Yeah, I saw it. Cool, yeah sure. No problem. Yeah. You want me to. WHAT!?
Mr. America gets a dumbfounded look on his face.]
Mr. America: You’re serious? Yeah, okay. Yeah. Got you. Sure. How about tomorrow? Okay, I’ll see ya then.
Mr. America hangs up the phone. He picks it back up, still with a look of disbelief on his face. He dials a number.]
Mr. America: Yeah, can I speak to a Miss Tiffany Chandler please? Yeah, thanks.
The camera fades out.]
Shelly: Interesting turn of events from Mr. America as he addresses a few of his critics.
Elaine: Let’s hear from a newcomer to the UCP. This is Loudmouth Donnie.
Loudmouth Donnie
Scene opens in on the great patio behind the Trump Family Estate overlooking a maze of shrubbery below. A single statue of a man wearing robes and carrying a large tome dominates the center of the maze and is tall enough to be seen at eye-level on the patio above. Up on the patio, closer to the mansion, Loudmouth Donnie sits at a table wearing a white golf shirt and slacks. He has a glass of champagne in his hand, and is talking and laughing with others seated at said table. Various other business-looking types are walking around, some seated at tables talking over various events.]
Donnie: Ahh yes, so Anthony Hazard has attempted to exchange his white wings and cupid’s diaper for a pitchfork and devil’s tail. I know enough about him to know he desired fan support for most of his career. Enough to make one wonder if he had been abused or ignored as a child, but ahh well. Mr. Hazard. Welcome to the club!
Loudmouth Donnie raises his glass in the air, then takes a big swig.]
Donnie: So Maxx and Blades have hit the road along with others. When people hear the Greatness is coming, they usually run for the hills. It’s such a typical response. One would think the “elite” would find a better use for shoe leather, but ahh well.
Loudmouth Donnie takes another big swig. He gazes at his empty glass and begins pounding on the table.]
Donnie: SMITHERS! Get that wrinkled old goat form out here and fill my glass.
Smithers heads out of the mansion with a bottle in his hands. When he reaches the table, Donnie snatches the bottle from him.]
Donnie: 1881. Hmm. Not the best of years for Fahrmans Royal, but ahh well.
Donnie blows dust off the bottle, creating a small cloud. He pops the cork on the bottle and takes a big swig directly from the bottle, instead of filling his glass. Smithers looks at this with wide-eyes.]
Smithers: Indeed sir. Donnie: Now where was I? Ah yes. Now, I see Traci Lane is still the champion in all her regal glory. Looking over this year, one would swear there’s not a drop of competition to be had. I hear that the Culture Kid.
Smithers: Disco Kid.
Donnie: Whatever, is getting a shot at the title. I suppose that’s better than having Neil Diamond as a champion, but the last time I saw such strange gestures, they were speaking in tongues.
Smithers rolls his eyes. Donnie laughs.]