Biff: That was a big play from the Enforcer! She knows how to follow up.
Ed: Rachel now stuff him in, raises her fist -- jackknife power bomb!
Biff: That’s the setup!
Ed: You’re absolutely right. Rachel signaling to the crowd, and now she pulls Hazard into her arms -- gorilla press! She turns a circle with him overhead, then pulls him to her, spins -- Gorilla Press Powerslam!
Biff: What impact!
Ed: She drops across his chest. one. two. THREE!!! And Ryan with a big win over Anthony Hazard as she prepares to face Adam Sanchez.
Announcer: The winner in 9: 14, The Enforcer. Rachel Ryan!
Biff: All I can say is that if Hazard wants to return to the upper echelon, he’s gonna have to be more active. He’s been nowhere to be found since the UCP kicked in’ I wanna see this guy act like he cares.
Ed: Hazard acquitted himself we’ll against Ryan. Let’s see if he can capitalize in the coming weeks. Coming up, we have the former North American Champion, Consuelo Salyards taking on Shiva in a two out of three falls match.
Biff: Shiva all the way, man.
Ed: Speaking of Shiva, she’s outside of the arena so let’s get some comments.
Shiva
In the alleyway, a minute before the match. Shiva and CookLie stand leaning on the wall, looking quite relaxed. Shiva is still sporting a cut under her eye from her match against Mariko; her sunglasses resting on top of her head.]
CookLie: Bloody hell ain’t that cleared up yet?
Shiva: god no. that little tramp had something on her boot for all I know.
CookLie: Who you got now?
Shiva: Some chick named Consuelo something. Another one of them Femmes. Another former champion.
CookLie: Looks like the head of this biz either loves ya or hates ya.
Shiva, dabbing at her cut with a cloth: Hates me probably. I’m, not no stereotypical no-dressed tart this league is so proud of. Not winning any popularity awards either. But whatever I don’t care. I’m getting my money and that’s all I care.
“Sweet Dreams” comes over the PA.]
Guess it’s showtime. Take care sis and get me some brew for afterwards. I’m taking a break from this “wrestling” nonsense. There an Arsenal game on the tele tonight?
CookLie: Don’t think so luv. *takes the cloth* Go get another head for the mantelpiece.
Shiva: Righto. Later. *pulls her sunglasses down over her eyes and turns and walks down the aisle*
Shiva vs. Consuelo Salyards
Ring Announcer: Introducing first! Hailing from Newcastle, England here is Shiva!
Shiva walks down the aisle to boos from the crowd, but doesn’t really care at all. Shiva climbs into the ring and bounces off the ropes to test them.]
Ed: Strong comments from Shiva. Consuelo is a former champion, and she doesn’t need to take her lightly.
Biff: Yeah and Mariko was a champion as we’ll and Shiva ran through her.
Ring Announcer: Her opponent! Here is former North American Champion, the “Latin Lover” Consuelo Salyards!
Salyards’ entrance music plays as she makes her way to the ring. Consuelo Salyards enters the ring as the crowd is still cheering for her. She climbs to the second turnbuckle and works the crowd. She hops off and gets ready to wrestle.]
Ed: There’s the bell and we have a lock up. Shiva forces Salyards back to the ropes and the ref calls for the break. No! Shiva with a punch and a whip to the ropes, but Salyards reverses it. Shiva comes off and grabs Salyards’ arm and takes her to the mat with an armbar submission.
Biff: Shiva lets go of that armbar and brings Salyards back to her feet. She whips Salyards into the ropes. Salyards with a thrust kick to the head and Shiva hits the mat hard. Salyards goes up top. Flying legdrop and a cover! One, tw. Shiva gets her shoulder up. Salyards brings Shiva to her feet.
Ed: Salyards with a whip into the ropes and she sets for a backdrop. Shiva with a kick and Salyards telegraphed that move. Shiva with double underhook and there’s a piledriver! She pulls Salyards back up and a backbreaker now. Shiva with a clawhold applied and she’s grinding at Salyards’ face. Salyards gets to the ropes and Shiva breaks the hold. Shiva pulls Salyards to her feet and sets her up. Double underhook into a backbreaker!
Biff: Shiva rebounds off the ropes as Salyards gets to her feet and she takes Salyards over with a crucifix! The ref is in position! One, two, thr. Salyards kicks out barely!
Ed: That was closer than Salyards would’ve liked. Salyards back to her feet and she nails Shiva with a thrust kick to the head that staggers Shiva back to the turnbuckle! Salyards to the opposite turnbuckle! She goes in with a handspring elbow, but Shiva side steps! Salyards hits the turnbuckle and Shiva dumps her right out of the ring!
Biff: Salyards gets back to her feet as Shiva rebounds and Shiva slides at Salyards! Salyards side steps and Shiva slides right out of the ring! Salyards charges at Shiva and nails her with a flying forearm! Shiva hits the ground as does Salyards and Salyards back to her feet and she heads to the ring apron.
Ed: The ref has started the count, one, two, three...
Biff: Salyards goes for a flying legdrop, but no one’s home! She hits the arena floor with a thud and that had to hurt her pride!! Shiva grabs
Salyards!
Ed: four, five, six.
Biff: DDT onto the arena floor! Shiva pulls Salyards back up and a backbreaker! These two need to get back into the ring!
Ed: Seven, eight.
Biff: Shiva sets her up for another DDT, but Salyards counters with a backdrop!
Ed: Nine.
Biff: Salyards with a thrust kick to the head!!
Ed: Ten! Salyards climbs back into the ring as the bell rings, but it’s too late. Let’s get the official word.
Ring Announcer: Both wrestlers were counted out, as a result, the Ref has declared this match a draw!
The crowd boos as Shiva glares at the ref and walks back up the aisle. Consuelo Salyards throws him a look as she exits the ring and walks back up the aisle.]
Ed: Neither of those two were happy about the outcome of the match.
Biff: Yeah, but they were too busy pummeling each other outside of the ring to notice it.
Ed: Let’s get a couple of words from Asian Invasion who will be looking to regain the UCP TV title tonight from Virgo.
Asian Invasion
(Back in the locker room area, Asian Invasion is seen laying on a plush leather couch, watching college football. He looks up at the camera, mutes the TV, and begins.)
Asian Invasion: Well, it’s you guys again’ I wished that maybe, just maybe, with this new league, that you stupid cameramen would stop barging in here during my pre-match inspiration time, but, That’s why they call it a wish huh??? Anyway, you’re probably all wondering. Asian, this is the chance you’ve wanted ever since you were wrongfully robbed of your TV title so long ago, why are you watching football and not preparing? And the answer is simple, but I guess that’s why you all are morons. I mean sure, a win here would give me a chance to regain the title that is truly mine, and I’m pumped as hell of course, but, when you get anxious, you make mistakes, and That’s what I will NOT do.
Davey Scott, Mr. Nobody, you think that you can run your mouth, rip on me, and then you’ll get yourself a triangle match??? You know, I can’t believe they let you host the Gospel Truth, after I did it, I thought they were going for class hosts, not rambling fools. You want a match with me, get in line, and take a number. I’ll get to whoopin’ your ass any day now.
And finally, Taleis, the poster child for birth control. You know what boy, you seem to not know what’s good for you. You can go around threatening me all you want, you know why, you don’t have to. I’d love to go out and beat your ass. I beat on trash like you for years, you can say how you’re gonna “make sure that I never win a title”, but, unless it’s the Preschool Thumb Wrestling Championship, I wouldn’t have to worry about you winning a title. So, since thinking about you gives me a headache, yes Taleis, I will wrestle you, in a NON-TITLE match since you’re so not obsessed with the TV title... Speaking of which, I’ve got a title to go win, and That’s The Way It Is.
The scene cuts back to Ed and Biff.]
Ed: Strong words from Asian Invasion as usual.
Biff: Yeah, and he’s looking to defeat Virgo tonight. I don’t know what’s going through Virgo’s head right now.
Ed: Up next we have Executioner defending his belt against Davey Scott. Scott has been on a tear as of late with his only defeat coming at the hands of Mr. America in the finals of the Wheel of Torture tournament.
Biff: Yeah, but both of these guys are blowhards.
Davey Scott
Outside the locker room, sits a man who is ready to hop into action. Not literally, figuratively. Shelly was there trying to get a world with the man himself, who is about to go for the gold, and knowing Davey, a few surprises may be in store...]
Shelly: Now Davey.
Davey: What? Did I forget to put the “Don’t disturb” or something?
Shelly: Well.
Davey: Ah shut up. As you know, I am about to go to the emotionally flooded. Someone who has so worried about Freddy Fever, that I swear this match will be dedicated to Freddy. In fact, any title match I think that man will go into will be a dedicated to Freddy. Come on, Freddy is at the end of career, let it be. cause it time for the new wave to come in’ However, this wave of delusional and misguided wrestlers will soon need a leader, to guide them to all that is right, and show them the future of wrestling. Who else would be qualified then a veteran who is experienced, and an athlete who is still kicking! Tonight, I shall start my reign and conquest with the destruction