Shelly: Mr. A.
Mr. America: If you haven’t figured it out yet, let me help ya. Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out.
Shelly Marks leaves the locker room area.]
Shelly: I think I just became a whole lot dumber for listening to that.
Davey Scott
She walks into another locker room where the doctors are trying to stitch up a very stubborn Davey Scott that is sitting there. Davey isn’t in the mood to be held down, one loser down in the mud. Now it on to phase two.]
Davey: Don’t you have anything better to do then come creeping in here?
Shelly: We just wants some words about the possibility of you facing Monty or perhaps, Asian Invasion.
Davey: Ok, the way I see it, Monty is someone who is in the federation taking up space. This is a new federation, so why are we carrying has-beens? If I ever meet this fellow they call “Pretty Boy”, I will give him a full-fledged makeover...trust me, he won’t be pretty anymore. Asian Invasion. Ok, listen up you little punk, cause that all you are, is a punk. I had you once, then you ran. You have never “beaten” me. I could care less about your sorry little ass. You are just another little speck in my universe. I am about to bring hell to Halloween Horror. You see Billy. I got wacked maybe once with a cane...woohoo! I beat him into delusion. He will wake up with a headache, and I hope it hurts. Cause he shall learn never mess with the devil on devil’s night!
Shelly: Now.
Davey: GET OUT! You had your interview now get OUT!
He walks up and pushes her out the door...]
Shelly: Has everyone gone insane around here?!? Back to ringside.
Ed: Okay Biff. And now, on to the next match.
Biff: Wait a minute, what about the pre-match banter?
Ed: Ahhh. I’m tired, you do it.
Biff: What?
Ed: I said you do it.
Biff: Ahhh. okay. So Biff, what do you think about this next match? Well, I think we’re going to see Pretty Boy join the rest of his Crew buddies on the unemployment line after tonight, Biff. I agree. Biff. Ah, this is stupid!
Ed: (Trying not to laugh) I don’t know, I’m having fun.
Coal Miner’s Glove Match: Asian Invasion vs. Pretty Boy Monty
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, this next match is scheduled for one fall, and, as part of the Wheel of Horror, is a Coal Miner’s Glove match!
Biff: Alright, blood!
Announcer: Introducing first, weighing in at 230 lbs. ASIAN INVASION!!!
(Asian comes down to ringside, looking surprisingly focused.)
Ed: My, Invasion looks surprisingly focused tonight, Biff.
Biff: (Groan)
Announcer: And, his opponent, weighing in at 250 lbs., PRETTY BOY MONTY!
(Crowd lets loose as Monty comes through the curtains and walks down to ringside, smiling and looking casual. He even slaps a few hands along the way.)
Ed: The pole and Glove are already set up in the ring, and the ref is doing a final check on the two wrestlers. Biff, why don’t you tell the folks at home the rules of a Coal Miners Glove match.
Biff: Because I don’t have moron tattooed on my forehead?
Ed: You’re a bit grouchy tonight, aren’t you? Anyway, the Glove is loaded with a few ounces of lead shot, so it hurts like a bugger when you get hit with it. Whoever gets to the glove can use it as long as they have it. Wins are by pinfall or submission only. That about right, Biff?
Biff: Not bad for a complete yutz. The bell goes and we’re underway. Both men a little hesitant to lock up here, Asian thumbing his nose at Monty. Now a lock up and a shot to the gut by Invasion. Following it up with a big backbreaker! Now he’s yelling at the fans.
Invasion: “That’s the way it is, baby!”
Ed: Uh-hum. Good idea to be talking to the crowd while Monty gets back up. Roll-up from Pretty Boy. 1.
Biff: And a kick-out from Invasion. Monty on him with a jumping DDT! And another pin’ 1. 2. Kick out from Asian! Pretty good kick out from Asian there, considering he’s at a major height advantage.
Ed: Now PB Monty whipping Asian to the corner, AI comes back and gets nailed with a fist from Monty! Using the height difference to his advantage there.
Biff: Yeah, for now. Monty now with lefts and right to Asian’s head. Another DDT! Asian down on the mat, and Monty’s pointing to the Glove! Yeah, let’s see if ya can climb up there first, King Kong.
Ed: Monty going for the Coal Miner’s Glove while Asian lies on the ground. AI barely even twitching there. I think those two DDTS did a real number on him.
Biff: What did you expect him to do, sing? He just got his head driven into the mat, for crying out loud.
Ed: Monty grabs the glove from the ring pole and Asian still not moving on the mat. This one could be over pretty quick here if Asian gets nailed in this condition. Monty picking him up off the mat, big right. No! ASIAN WITH A DUCK AND A BACKSLIDE! 1. Kickout!
Biff: HA! Asian back on the job. Whipping Monty to the opposite corner. Damn! Monty nails him with that glove coming off the turnbuckle. Monty now pandering to the fans. Yech, gag me!
Ed: Monty with a pick-up, getting ready to nail Asian again with that glove, and Asian ducks again’ Clothesline from AI! And Asian putting the boots to Monty on the mat. Monty rolls away and through the ropes, and Asian taunting him from the inside!
Biff: And Monty the coward hides outside while Asian tells him what a moron he is. Monty rolling back in, and Asian with a shoulderblock! And a pin’ 1. 2. Kickout! Monty almost getting pined there, Ed!
Ed: And Asian in control as he hits a belly-to-belly suplex! And another cover! 1. 2. Kicked out again! Monty so far unable to capitalize on that glove!
Biff: He’s still probably trying to figure out how to turn it on. And Asian trying to get that glove from Monty! It’s off! And now Monty trying to get back to his big feet. BOOM! OUT GO THE LIGHTS!
Ed: Monty getting a hard right from that glove and he’s down on the mat. Asian now picking him up. Bearhug! Quite a shift in tactics here from Asian.
Biff: Smart man, using a wear-down hold on someone you’ve just popped. Doesn’t give them time to recover. Monty reaching for the ropes like a pathetic. Oh, he got them.
Ed: Ref immediately laying a count on Asian. I don’t know why, he can’t really disqualify anyone. Asian lets go of the hug, and steps back, leaving Monty on the ropes. And now back in with the bearhug! Invasion turning Monty away from the ropes so he can’t get out.
Biff: But Monty’s long gorilla arms let him flail his way out of this one. He grabs the ropes and Asian lets go again’ See what a real sportsman is like, Ed?
Ed: The sportsman nailing Monty with that glove again and a jack-knife! Monty on the mat and Asian is loving it! Pin attempt. 1. 2. Shoulder up! Monty one tough customer to be getting up after that.
Biff: Asian dragging the big doofus to the center of the ring and another bearhug! And now Pretty Ugly Monty is trapped and can’t reach the ropes! Asian wants him to give it up! Ha!
Ed: I doubt that will happen, Biff.
Biff: Yeah, but you’re an idiot. The fans now chanting “Ugly, Ugly”
Ed: I think That’s “Monty, Monty” Ed.
Biff: That’s what I said, Ugly. Okay, Monty trying to get an arm in to cut off the bearhug, fat chance of that. He looks like he’s fading, though. The ref checking as the arm falls. 1. 2. No. Looks like Monty wants to be hurt some more!
Ed: Monty shaking his head no and trying to get adrenaline flowing. He’s working one arm between himself and Asian. Asian’s got him locked up tight, but Monty’s doing it. One arm through! He hooks them. Belly-to-belly on Asian! AI down to the mat and Monty rolls off to try and get some momentum going.
Biff: The ref laying a count on both wrestlers. I suppose if he reaches 10 it’ll be a draw. Asian starting to get, so is Monty. Monty sees Asian, gets up, off the ropes. Shoulder tackle. And a lucky break from Ugly Monty gets Asian down on the mat. Monty now trying to get that glove from Asian. He’s grinding down on Asian’s shoulder while he pulls it off. He’s got it!
Ed: Monty now with blows to AI’s forehead. The ref warning him, and Monty picking up Asian. Pretty boy tossing Asian to the ropes. Big wind-up. Now, a duck down by Asian. Off the opposite ropes. HEADSCISSORS FROM ASIAN! And a cover! 1. 2. 3!
Biff: Yeah ASIAN! YEAH!
Announcer: The winner of the match. Asian Invasion!
Ed: Now Asian getting that glove from Monty and starts nailing him with hard rights! There’s no call for that!
Biff: Ah, let him alone. He’s having fun. Asian looking right into the camera as he holds up that glove.
Asian: (Mocking) I’m what every American aspires to be!
Ed: Whoa! Another strong message from Asian. Things finally getting settled down now. Asian giving back the glove and heading back to the lockers. Monty being help back, his forehead is busted open. And that match wraps up the first round of the tournament. Let’s recap: In the second round, Mr. America with a win over Rachel Ryan will take on Shogun, who upset Anthony Hazard. Davey Scott, who made quick work of Billy Smith will be taking on Asian Invasion, who just defeated Pretty Boy Monty in another upset.
Biff: My man Davey Scott is still in this one.
Ed: Let’s go down to ringside.