Taskmaster: It will be a pleasure competing with your fine athletes. And I look forward --(she takes the whip and uncoils it)--to taking you to TASK....
(Arlechino jumps back as she cracks the whip, then smiles. The camera moves on to a shoulder press station, where the Kingpin is supervising Fury, Gretchen Gwynne, and Vixxxen as they lift weights.)
Kingpin: People, the OWA is wanting a piece of our action. Got anything to say?
Gretchen: Oh, I just cant wait to meet em. I am just an equal opportunity destroyer! (Giggles, then looks down at her hand.) Darn, I think I broke a nail.
Vixxxen in a husky voice.: Cmon down, boys n girls. Does not matter who you are, Ill show you a REAL good time. You might even live to talk about it.
Kingpin: Caray, Stewart--got anything to say?
Caray: Nope.
Stewart: Get that #$!@#$@ camera outta my #$%#@! face!
(The camera pans to the ring, where Kelly Kandelski and the Vision in Violet are trading a series of holds.)
ViV: OWA! I have heard about your fed, youve got good people. Itll be fun putting you to the test.
Kelly: Absolutely, Nancy! Feminine Force is ready to set em up and take em down!
(In the middle of the gym, Arlechino runs out.)
Arlechino: Hey, everybody! Heres my imitation of the Family! (He pulls out a cigarette lighter, and lights up a cardboard house. It crackles merrily, and everyone breaks into uproarious laughter.)
Arlechino: Everybody sing!
(The gym P.A. system opens up with Sister Sledges "We are Family", and everybody starts to dance as the mock home burns away....)
Myers: Well have more footage in upcoming weeks here on OWA Championship Wrestling from the ICWF. Now.. lets get on the Press Your Luck.
Press Your Luck is a tournament based not only on skill but a great amount of luck as well..
16 names are placed into a hat, and two names are drawn...
The first two picked are places into a second hat, and are not revealed. Those names are given an automatic bye to the second round.
Two more names are drawn from the first hat, those two will wrestle a regular match, no time limit for any of these matches, there must be a decisive winner.
The loser of the match goes back to the locker room, while the winner will stay in the ring as the ref tosses a coin.
Heads, the winner advances to the second round, and his/her name going into the second hat, and two more names are drawn. And the process starts over. There must be a winner and after the match a coin is tossed.
However, if its Tails, another name is drawn and the winner MUST wrestle another match in the first round against the name drawn. Again with a decisive winner and a coin toss at the end. One man could literally have to wrestle 13 other guys in the first round before advancing.
If at the end of the first round there is only one name left in the hat with no one to wrestle, that name is tossed out of the tournament.
The second round works the exact same way. They wrestle until there is only one name left in the hat and that person is the winner of the tournament.
Now, earlier in this very program, Major Threat advanced to the tournament. Next week, The Shocker will take on Intimidator, and Kodiak will take on Legion. The winners of those matches will advance to Press Your Luck.
In addition to that tournament, brand new OWA Champion Rachel Ryan will defend her title against.. her very own stable-mate, the giant, Gustaffson.
And the finals for the OWA Tag Team Championship tournament will be decided on this night.
Press Your Luck will be on May 31st, right here.
Ed: Press Your Luck is shaping up quite nicely... and what about those from the ICWF?
Stevie: Amateurs... really.. . the action in the OWA is far better than those cretins.
Ed: Stevie! Hold on.. here comes Sabin Figaro.. you take care of this one..
Stevie: No problem.. Hey Sa...
Sabin Figaro
Figaro: Ha, someone so lowly for a name, he goes to the periodic table of elements. I can take hard-core fighting, I survived the CAGED DEATH! match, I can fight like no one believes. I was hung with barbed wire over 3 stories of flames, the chair was simply unexpected. Colt, you want a No-DQ match? I give no respect to you, but I give you my signature. Come on, SHUT UP AND DANCE!!!!! Colt... I think we were in this situation before, if I recall correctly. Well, everything will be different this time. I am gonna take to such an extreme, I am gonna just clubber you. When the fists of fire are applied, well, get ready for a loss! LET US DANCE!
Figaro heads to ringside.]
Stevie: Hey.. he interrupted me!
Ed laughs: Now you know how it feels.
Stevie: Shut up....
TV Championship Contender’s Match: Sabin Figaro vs. Colt
Ed: Lock up... Nothing happening here.. they release the hold and walk around each other... Sabin runs into the ropes and hits Colt with a shoulderblock that sends him to the mat. Sabin into the ropes again, Colt drops down and Sabin runs off the other side.. backdrop by Colt.
Stevie: Quick pin attempt by Colt, but he does not even get a one count. Sabin is up and kicks Colt in the midsection.. and he is going for a piledriver.. nope.. Colt with a backdrop... Colt with a clothesline on Sabin. One.. two.. kickout by Sabin.
Ed: Colt with a whip.. reversal by Sabin... Colt nails Sabin with an elbow... Colt places Sabin on the top turnbuckle.. Top Rope DDT! One.. two.. thre.. kickout.. by Figaro... Colt is complaining about a slow count.. Sabin with an inside cradle.. one.. kickout by Colt.. Football tackle takes Colt down.. Sabin with a fistdrop....
Stevie: Figaro is going to the second turnbuckle and.. elbowdrop onto Colt... One.. two.. kickout by Colt.. Figaro pulls up Colt and sets him up.. piledriver by Figaro.. One.. two.. kickout by Colt... Dropkick by Figaro.. no.. Colt side steps it..
Ed: Colt with a chop on Figaro... but Figaro comes back with a kick to the midsection.. bodyslam by Figaro.. Figaro picks up Colt and pushes him in to the corner.. Sabin with the Fist Flurry and Colt falls to the mat.. this is it.. cover by Figaro.. one... two...
Stevie: No.. Colt places his foot on the bottom rope stopping the count.. Sabin thinks he is won the match... the ref is telling him that he has not won yet. Colt is up... Figaro climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Colt is there to meet him and body slams him off the turnbuckle.
Ed: Colt sets him up for the reverse crucifix slam and nails him.. Colt with a cover.. one.. two.. three!!!
Announcer: Winner of the match in 16: 43... Colt!
Ed: Shogun has joined us at the podium...
Shogun
Shogun: The hell with the Family and the rest of the losers in OWA!! That is right, I am shooting off my mouth. Listen up people, there is a new tag team in town and it will become the best in the OWA. The newly formed partnership of Larry Brown and Shogun are here to do business! You just had a taste of what we are capable of doing, just ask poor little Fireman he knows. My good buddy Larry gave him a quick pin and it was all over except the crying. And as for you Raekwon, I congratulate you on CHAIRING your partner. Hell, we all know he deserved it. I guess the Family must be trembling to see two stables against them and further more I am sure Me and Larry are going to put are 2 cents worth to see those ingrates go down. For ALL to remember: Who ever dares to attack my Buddy Larry ,will have to deal with me and my famous PALM BLOW A word to the wise, stay clear of us we have come to rule the HEIGHTS!!!!!
Kodiak
(Scene opens to show KODIAK sitting next to an overturned apple-juice truck. He is sitting on top of the driver and is very happily sucking the juice out of five drinking-boxes at a time.)
KODIAK: Aaaaahhh that is good. BURP. Now my training is complete. I am ready to bite, I mean fight my way to the top of the Federation. Federation. Federation. Federation. EEEEK! SPIDERS. I am covered in spiders. Who wants to fight me? I am KODIAK, ruler of the seven seas, king of England, and eater of worlds. You are all pawns in my game. Queen to bishop four, CHECKMATE. Hahahahahahaha! I cannot be beaten. Mommy...mommy is that you?
(KODIAK grabs several crates of apple juice and wonders into the bush looking for his mommy.)
Announcer: He is has no personality...
Legion: Time for blood is now.... and do not call me psycho.
Announcer: He has more then his share...
They both debut next week... Kodiak vs Legion.. next week on OWA Championship Wrestling.
Tag Title Tournament Match: Mariko/Monica Brant vs. Johnny Stallion/Mike Mustang
Ed: Okay.. looks like it will be... Johnny Stallion starting out with Monica Brant. Gustaffson is not at ringside here, I can imagine they are trying to calm him down in the back...
Stevie: Hey.. I do not blame him one bit.. Stallion with a quick dragon suplex on Brant.. one.. kickout by Monica... Stallion rakes the face of Brant, but Monica nails him with a kick to the midsection. Monica tries for a hiptoss, but Stallion counters with a backslide.. one.. reversal by Brant.. one.. two.. kickout by Stallion...
Ed: Brant tags out to Mariko.. Brant and Mariko with a whip and double chop on Stallion, as Monica leaves the ring.. Stallion quickly hits Mariko with a hotshot... Side suplex by Stallion... Mariko fights back with a savate kick and tag out again to Monica Brant.
Stevie: Stallion should tag out here.. Brant with a whip into the turnbuckle... Brant with an European uppercut.. Stallion pushes Brant out of the corner and nails her with a Russian Legsweep... Stallion goes for a